A Simple Pleasure

For years I wore contact lens. At 15 I bought my first pair of hard contact lens.

Years later I bought soft lens. Later then I used disposable contact lens.

One thing I missed since I was 14 was the ability to just rub the heck out of my eyes. It felt so good.

A few years ago I got corrective surgery. At first I was afraid I would destroy my eyes so I didn’t rub them.

Now by golly I rub them red as a wino. It feels so good.

I Can Die Now, I know It All

You learn something new every day.

I have a Microsoft mouse that just revealed a new function to me.

It is called a Microsoft Notebook Optical Mouse 3000 with a scroll roller, a right and left button and a button on the thumb that allows you to magnify anything on the page. My buddy Don calls the magnify button a porn button.

Anyway I happened to press down on the roller and the window changed to the next open window, again and the next window. I had no idea you could toggle between windows by pressing the scroll button.

Did everyone but me know this?

A Time to Whine

Enough rain already! Go away tropical storm.

It’s wet as all get out, the horse stalls are flooded and the border collies are going crazy!

Lord is it humid!

The rain screwed up my 7:33 AM tee time.

Oh I dread winter! It’s always gray, wet, and cold. Thank Pfizer for antidepressants.

Enough whining for now, I must hire someone soon. I am beginning to fall off my mental vacation.

No, here’s some more whining.

I am actually paying the bills for the first time. I have always had someone do it for me.

It’s absurd how much businesses get charged for service versus residential service. For example my broadband connection here at work is 89.95. The TV cable here is $69.95. This is highway robbery. The same service is about half that cost at home.

Mecklenburg County has a tax called a “privilege tax”. This gives me the privilege of doing business in their county. It’s $342.52 per year. Oh thank you Mecklenburg County.

The rent is $2,540.10 a month. Crap almighty! I could buy another house for what it costs me to have a place to meet people. Every friggin month! I’m nowhere near the expensive district either.

I’ve got to lie down.

Unexpected Visit

I jumped in the truck this morning, turned on Bloomberg Radio, and popped a sugar free piece of gum in my mouth.

Suddenly I was chewing gravel. A tooth blew out. It just cracked to pieces.

The dentist said it was a 6 year old molar so it’s been working fine for 44 years. It had a filling in it that I’ll bet was 43 years old. So I have been chewing away just fine for all that time.

The tooth now had to be crowned quickly before I was seen in public with that West Virginia look.

The dentist fit me in and two hours later and had a temporary in and I was talking like Dick Clark.

The darn thing is killing me now but I look better.

Have you ever noticed when they match the tooth color the color they decide on looks all yellow and old? I thought my teeth were snow white! I didn’t know they had a color called walrus tusk.

Check out this nice case of wine I bought at lunch. I took it inside because it’s so hot outside.

Evening Events

It was an interesting evening.

I had to work late and see a client at their home around 6 PM. Meanwhile Gigi was dodging lightening from the approaching tropical storm and putting the horses to bed.

Our plan was to have our Tuesday night dinner out at our club.

I got home about 7 PM and Gigi was just finishing. She was soaking wet and sweaty from her effort. We decided to cook a frozen pizza and relax.

I changed clothes and started to relax. Gigi changed her mind and we decide a quick shower would get us there before the kitchen closed.

As we were driving there I noticed at our only gas station a rig I had seen a few hours before.

It was what appeared to be a brand new fifth wheel RV and a brand new Ford diesel truck in some distress. The hood had been up for hours.

As you may recall Gigi and I were hopelessly stuck on the side of I-95 this past July with a flat tire. It took us 4 hours and $170 to get going again. If only a good Samaritan had bothered to stop and help us.

We decided to do a good deed and stop and help these people.

They had simply come to Charlotte that day in their brand new truck to take delivery of their new RV when a pressure hose failed on their diesel turbo. They had been stuck all day making phone calls and eating gas station snacks. They had assumed they would be safely home by now back in Fayetteville, NC.

Our mechanic was two blocks away and we got him on the phone to find the part. He said he could get it fixed in the morning.

We invited these folks to stay over in our guest house and we all went to dinner.

Hopefully this will all come to a good end and these folks can get on their journey. They were most grateful for hour hospitality.

Work, Work, Work

Man am I busy today! I’m busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. Busy as a cat covering crap on a tin roof.

I decided that while I don’t have an admin person, that I would do the paperwork myself. This is a learning process so I can teach the next person I hire.

I had two folks interview for the position yesterday.

I heard a couple of things I didn’t like that made me think they were lazy. I don’t have room in this organization for two lazy people. That’s my job.

So I’m faxing, calling mailing, answering phones, etc.

Back to work.

Boscoe Revisited

Here is a story about Boscoe, the family parrot. Boscoe is a Maroon Belly Conure. He is about the size of a Robin. Boscoe has been part of our family for over 17 years.

Boscoe has a rather large vocabulary for a breed of bird not known to be good talkers. He says over fifty words and phrases all with a thick Southern accent. While watching television he is frequently heard saying dah-yum!

Back in 1999 we all took a car trip to New England which included Boscoe and our border collie Peaches. We had our travel trailer in tow passing through each state uneventfully on our way to Maine. As we stopped in Delaware to pay a toll Boscoe became frightened and freed himself from Gigi's grasp and flew out of the driver's side of the truck. He flew past six lanes of heavy truck traffic and continued out of sight. We were devastated at our loss.

I pulled over and crossed the interstate traffic to look for Boscoe. I looked for thirty minutes calling his name but had no luck. I walked into a nearby Department of Transportation Office and told them of my problem. The employees were more than happy to assist in my search. Finally I had to abandon the search. I asked them to call me on my wireless phone if Boscoe ever showed up.

We continued up the road to New Jersey to drop off the trailer. We gathered flash lights, and heavy coats to assist in the search for Boscoe. We made the 45 mile trip back to Delaware. It was about sundown and the weather was getting cold.

My cell phone rang just as we were approaching the toll plaza. The fine employees of the State of Delaware had found Boscoe and he was safe and sound!

We were so grateful to get Boscoe back that we wrote to the governor of Delaware thanking him for the kindness of his employees. He was kind enough to write back. Here's his letter below.

States Boscoe Has Visited
Alabama
Connecticut
Georgia
Florida
Tennessee
North Carolina
South Carolina
Virginia
New York
Maine
New Hampshire
New Jersey
Pennsylvania
Massachusetts

Boscoe

This is a sad story from a few years ago.

Boscoe our parrot loves to get the empty paper towel cardboard tube.

He sits on it, tears it and talks to it. He loves his cardboard tube. We save every empty for him.

A few years ago he was happily chirping and talking under his breath.

Then Gigi and I both heard him say’ “You’re my best friend”.

It’s sad when a cardboard tube is you best friend.

See A Resemblance?

Again, I mean no disrespect to Ed Bradley but do you see a resemblance?

Heh?

Travel Plans

I love to travel. Gigi does if we have a competent person taking care of the horses and we are traveling in the RV.

I like to go by plane and stay in a resort.

In September we are going to San Francisco for 4 days. We love San Francisco. The town is beautiful, the food is fabulous and the weather is usually mild.

Gigi and I used to go to SF every October just to visit. Flights from Charlotte are always cheap in the range of $200 per person round trip.

The other night I almost booked a flight and hesitated. The next day I was invited by Wells Fargo to come out and see their operation. So I bought an extra ticket to take Gigi.

We’ll arrive Thursday mid day and eat lunch at our favorite restaurant in China Town. We’ll shop and have dinner at The Tadich Grill. They have the best sourdough bread and Caesar salad there.

I have meetings all day Friday and then a nice dinner on Wells Fargo.

Saturday we’ll head to Napa and meet Justin Hunnicutt Stephens who started Hunnicutt Wines. I have bought and love his wines.

Then we’ll do a few more tastings, have lunch and check in to a B&B.

Then off to the airport Sunday morning to return to Charlotte.

In October we plan to RV to Jordon Lake in Raleigh. We plan to meet up with my sister Etta and do some fun fall camping.

November we are heading to Oak Island via RV to have Thanksgiving with Gigi’s mother and her brother. I can squeeze in a round or two of golf if it’s still warm.

In December we are taking the RV to Alabama for Christmas with Gigi Aunt and Uncle.

So we are looking to get house sitters and we will be set.

Nap Failure

This has never happened to me. I laid down for a nap and could not achieve sleep.

Normally it takes me a minute or so to achieve full sleep. I’ll have to admit I am faster than most when it comes to falling asleep.

I have shared a hotel room with several buddies and they all commented that I say goodnight and start snoring within a minute.

The BLT

I love a good bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich.

Bacon is good with anything. Like cinnamon, bacon can enhance most anything. I rarely eat bacon because its basically cooked fat and chemicals but it is a delicious treat.

This bacon was slow cooked in a pan. Its always superior cooked in a pan versus the microwave method.

Lettuce is good most anytime winter or summer. I can’t tell a big difference in taste.

But a summer tomato now that is a big deal. Winter tomatoes have vastly improved over the years. A few years ago a winter tomato meant a pink fibrous hard thing that resembled a tomato. It was gross and had no taste. Winter tomatoes are still bad but they at least look better.

If you go to a fine restaurant like the Palm you’ll actually get a fresh summer tomato from somewhere in the world that has real tomatoes and you’ll pay big for it.

This tomato was home grown and given to me by my friend Mark.

Behold its beauty, the redness, the juicy and firm flesh just bursting with flavor.

I’m going now to build this sandwich, eat it, take a nap and watch some golf.

It's Morning

Oh how I love a lazy morning.

Gigi and I slept very late for us. At 8:50 I woke up and saw three border collies staring back at me. Boscoe the parrot exclaimed a loud “yes!” He was glad we were awake too.

I stumbled to the kitchen and fixed the coffee then let the dogs out to get rid of their night water.

We had a great evening at the home of Jim and Des who live in the city. It was just what I like. It was an evening of conversation, good food, good drinks and lots of laughs with friends.

We got home late for us and as always the dogs felt abandoned but were ecstatic to see us.

All three slept in the bed with us and cuddled very close.

We have a strange habit in our household. I will announce a dog by first and middle name when they come into the house unless a guest is here. I would be embarrassed if someone other than Gigi heard me.

I just let Peaches in and in a faux British accent I loudly announced “Peaches Augusta”. Then from the back of the house I heard Gigi acknowledge by repeating “Peaches Augusta”.

This way we can keep up with who is outside and who is inside.

We don’t like to leave the dogs unattended even though they all stick around in a very predictable fashion. Haley will go to the pasture and herd. Cedie will lay in the shrubbery and sleep. Peaches will stay on the deck or piddle around the front yard.

A Place for Everything

I get very anxious at the grocery store checkout. I like all my stuff in order and I like it organized.

If I have a few items I’ll go to one of the automated checkout and do it myself. This ensures everything is orderly.

If I have a basket of stuff then I make them do the checkout. After all I’m not their unpaid employee.

Here’s what freaks me. I am a guy. I have but two pockets and a little wallet for ID and a few credit cards. My pockets have an order to them. On the left front pocket I carry a small collapsible pen, chapstick lip balm and a small folding knife. On the right front I carry a small .22 revolver. We’ve had this discussion before that I carry a concealed weapon.

The wallet goes on the right rear pocket. My left butt check is free to enjoy life as a butt cheek should.

So I hand the cashier a twenty dollar bill, and she hands me back a pile of paper currency and some coins, along with coupons and a two foot receipt all stacked in one open hand. I just want to throw it up in the air.

I need to find a place for all this new stuff but there is social pressure from the guy behind me to move on. I have had my time with the cashier and the transaction is complete.

Generally I take all this new stuff and wade it up and stuff it in the left pocket to be sorted later.

My wallet is very organized. It has a window for my big potato head phone ID, a money clip and two neat areas for cards. There is not a home for coins, coupons and receipts.

Why a receipt anyway? I am not going to bring back a head of lettuce, loaf of bread or a 12 pack of Coke.

It All Came Down to a Single Putt

Here I sit gazing upon the countenance of the alabaster Thunder Jug trophy, knowing darn well I almost lost it today.

It was an epic golf battle between two teams of old college roommates. Bruce and I held the title from the first Thunder Jug contest.

Ty and Brian challenged to gain the title of Thunder Jug champion and they lost by a single hole.

The contest opened with a quick two hole lead by the challengers.

My play early and on the finish was dreadful. I only had two holes in the middle where I added to the score. Heck I didn’t fully wake up until number 4. I usually don’t stay up as late as I did last night.

Brian and Bruce carried the lion’s share of the game.

We all were remarkably well matched.

Later our team whittled away their lead to gain a two point advantage. By number 16 it looked as if loosing the cup would be difficult. We managed a good try.

By number 18 we were tied. The cup would remain ours if we tied or won. It came down to the last putt. Brian attempted a long putt to win but it wouldn’t go. Brian’s putting had been outstanding all day. Bruce sunk his par putt for the outright win.

So the Thunder Jug goes back to the safety of my trophy case until the next challenge.

Friday

Oh I feel tired. I was up too late. A few too many, but we won the game.

Now off to the golf course to whip some butt. Then pop in the office in the afternoon.

Man, it’s only 6:19 AM and I heading out. This is fun?

Yep!

The Break In

Well, back in 2000 I had just opened my new branch office. It was just me and my evil mean secretary who left me last year. Old bitch. I hated that woman.

Anyway as you know I have always had this webcam thing going on. Back then I had two cams running 24/7 with motion detection in the evening.

Every morning I would check to see what went on in the evening. Every time it was the little cleaning guy. It would shoot for or five stills, and then make four or five 10 second videos on each camera as it detected motion.

In my office I had a nice two bottle wine holder with two bottles of good red just in case I wanted to celebrate a moment. By the way I just got invited to San Francisco! I love wine and I love San Francisco! More on that later.

So one Saturday morning I looked at the cam stills and I see this guy walking out the door with what looked like my wine! Say it ain’t so. I checked the other cam and sure enough I had been violated.

So I called my partner Don who lives in town to go by and check it out. Sure enough we had a break-in.

I went to the office and had around 15 stills and about 2 minutes of video of the idiot walking around stealling my stuff.

He even left an unfilled prescription on the floor so we knew his name.

I thought this was going to be cut and dry for the Charlotte Police. After all they sent a real CSI there and dusted and took pictures. She was the cutest little CSI woman cop.

Anyway that was the end of it.

I called a buddy that has a segment on a local TV station and told him what happened. He ran a segment on it and showed the video.

The crook saw the video and called the police and asked, “Why are ya’ll showing my picture on TV?”

The police invited him down and they made an arrest.

What surprised the police is the name on the prescription matched his real name. The police never even checked the clues he left.

I got my insurance canceled and that is the end of the story.

I still have the files and will load one on Google Video.

Here is the link.

What Happens After Work

I decided to leave the recorder on just to make sure no one was doing the dirty on my sofa. Not much is happening.

I'll keep an eye on this guy.

Walk The Line

I came home late from work yesterday and all of the yard fairies had descended on my place.

The beds look fantastic and the gutters were spotless. We actually had little trees growing in the gutters.

Gigi did a wonderful job as manager of operations along with her regular duties.

I must find my camera so I can post more pictures. I left it a safe place in the RV back in July. I haven’t seen it since.

Ali from Canada sent her muffin recipe. Oh it looks good. I was delighted that the measurements were normal stuff that I understand. I was afraid the recipe was going to be metric stuff, preheat to 200 C, a dash of Aurora Borealis dust, etc. I was just kidding guys.

I bought an international plug converter from Wal-Mart when I had planned to travel to Europe this fall. There are some real scary looking plugs in other countries. In England they use the same amount of electricity on a George Forman as we use on a welding machine. I know. I used to sell welding machines.

But that trip is canceled so I’ll get my $20 back whenever I stop back at Wal-Mart.

I must walk a fine line the next 24 hours. I am about to experience some real man fun. If I go overboard Gigi will be highly miffed.

There is a game tonight here in Charlotte with the Miami Dolphins. There will be full bore tailgating at 6PM with my buddies. Then he game.

Tomorrow the Thunder Jug Challenge will begin at 8 AM. More guy stuff.

A Blast From The Past

Gather around kids and old Reggie will tell you a story from long, long ago.

All televisions everywhere used to be black and white. Every family had just one TV in the family room.

The TV was in a handsome wooden cabinet. The old ones had a round picture tube.

Rich people had a record player in the TV cabinet.

To change a channel on the TV you had to walk up to the TV and turn the big channel changer knob to the other channel.

My dad made sure that my job as a son was the turn the knob for him.

You had to do the same thing with volume. You simply twisted a knob to the right to make it louder or twisted the knob to the left to silence the TV. One you turned the knob all the way to the left you would hear a click and that turned the TV off.

Yes you only had maybe two channels, three if the stars were just right. There was not cable, just over the air TV.

Everyone watched the same program and it was the only time you could see the program. There was no Tivo, VCR, etc.

Television only broadcasted from 6:00 AM until 11:00 PM. They would play the National Anthem at the end of the broadcast day.

Here in the South they played Dixie on WRAL TV in Raleigh at 6:00AM. How politically incorrect by today’s standards.

When you turned on a TV it took a minute for the tubes to warm up and a picture to actually appear.

When you turned off the TV the picture shrank to a white dot and this dot would stay there for a few minutes. I used to stare at this dot.

During the night a test pattern would be broadcast so you could fine tune your signal. You could control the contrast, brightness, horizontal and vertical roll. Often you made these adjustments with a slotted screwdriver.

As a kid I would sit in front of the TV and watch the test pattern waiting for Sunrise Theatre to come on at 6 AM Saturday. Sunrise Theatre was usually a very cheesy science fiction movie from the 40s.

Sometimes the TV wouldn’t work and you pulled tubes from the back of the TV. You tossed the tubes in a brown paper bag and took them to the drugstore to test them. Once a bad tube was detected you replaced it from a drawer under the tester and reinstalled all of the tubes.

In 1969 we got a color TV. It was terrible. The colors were muddy and we missed the clarity of B&W.

Late Adopter

The very last person on the planet that is going to adopt the PC and Internet lifestyle just did.

I am going to see two elderly clients this afternoon at 4 PM that have bought their first PC. I’m not sure what to make of this its just interesting.

About 30% of my clients do not have a PC and get irritated when I ask them for their email address. I had the above couple in this category.

I promised if they ever bought a PC that I would come over and help them learn how to work it. There was one catch though. They had to have at least two cold beers for me to get through the process.

She called this morning and she told me she had a six pack.

Ty my office associate really screwed up the universe when he bought a white Apple notebook a few weeks ago. White? Ty! Shame, shame.

PS- Ali, try to send me the recipe again!

Strange Dream

I had a fitful night of sleep. I kept dreaming I was late to a tennis game (I don’t play) and it was followed by a golf game that never started.

In the dream there were several light brown and blonde furred chimpanzees in new blue jeans and old high school letter jackets. They couldn’t speak but understood what I said to them. All of them were small and looked to be about size of a 5 year old human.

I just made small talk to the chimps, nothing like deep conversation.

Back to real life, Haley and I rolled out the garbage after I got the coffee started. When I got back I opened the dishwasher (oh why Lord, why?) and I heard the dreaded “click”. Now I’m stuck putting up the clean dishes.

Trouble in Paradise

Gigi and I went to our country club for dinner.

Please don’t misunderstand. This is a modest club and we are not rich folks.

This club has nice people, a nice golf course, food services and facilities. It’s nothing fancy, just nice and very consistent place for recreation and a place to meet friends and business associates.

A bunch of the guys at the club pitched in and bought a huge plasma High Definition TVs for the lounge.

Gigi and I arrived at the lounge for dinner and I noticed the HDTV was set on standard definition channels. Why bother?

I asked Shannon our server about the situation and she seemed to associate this as a guy problem. She didn’t notice or care whether it was HD or SD.

I am convinced women don’t or can’t see High Definition TV. It’s all standard definition TV to them.

I made some smarty comment to Shannon about standard definition on plasma TV and she was quite miffed about the insult.

Gigi pointed out that I was in trouble. I was snubbed by Shannon.

Eventually Shannon changed the channel to High Definition. I was still in trouble by my insult I could tell.

Oh Whoa Is Me!

Nothing worked out today. There was one exception though.

The Sears guy called early and told Gigi that he could come and work on my mower but he didn’t have and could not get parts for the mower. Why would I want him to come if he can’t fix the mower??

I clearly told the phone guy in Pakistan yesterday that I had a Home Depot John Deer Scots Lawn Care mower with a Briggs and Stratton engine.

This fact was a surprise to the local Sears guy.

I got grouchy over this news and called a local company called Pinkstons. I just don’t like that name. Pinkstons will pick up the mower and repair it in a few days. I like them better now.

The gutter guy showed up late and said he wanted to survey the situation and said he would be back tomorrow morning.

So nothing got done today.

Then I’m back from lunch and a couple of my Canadian blogger friends catch me killing time reading not only blogs, but their blogs. They saw me on my webcam. And they were killing time at work too. How funny was that?

I swear if the Internet went down North American production would soar.

So I decided to put a fork in the day around 2 PM and go home. I might as well while I still have Valerie around for a few days. Plus I didn’t have any more high powered meetings today.

The one exception to the day is I got to see Gigi early. She is my best friend.

And it's 4:45 PM and I'm having a Samual Adams Black Lager.

Things Work Out

My troubles are solved for now.

Wait… I hear a gorilla screaming from the back. Haley must have found her stuffed monkey.

Now back to my regular blog already in progress.

My riding mower has blades that are very dull. It’s like having paddle fan blades under the deck. Blunt as my elbow.

I attempted to remove the blades Saturday but the bolts were fused on. I noticed they were bent which means sharpening was out of the question. My arms are still sore from screwing around with this.

So do I load the mower in the truck bed? I have room in the truck; I drive a big old Ford F350 diesel. But that is a lot of trouble.

So I decided to call Sears home service. After 8 minutes of talking to a computer a real person come on and said, “How about tomorrow at 8 AM?”

“Yes! Yes. That would be wonderful”, I said femininely. I was caught up in my good fortune but quickly assumed my manly mannerisms.

I have been looking for a yard person to help me. I want them to do stuff I hate to do like rake leaves, and dress the beds with pine needles. We call it pine straw here.

So I got a referral for a Mr. Alverez. My friend said he didn’t speak much English so go slow when talking to him. Well I got my gym budding who is Puerto Rican to call this Alverez fellow to set up the deal.

When I get home about 7 PM this nice little Hispanic family is sitting on my deck and Gigi is chatting away and serving lemonade. Gigi has NEVER met a stranger.

So Mr. Alverez who speaks very decent English will return Wednesday morning to whip my yard into shape at a fair price. How lucky is that?

Then I got a call from a guy looking to do odd jobs that was a referral from my mechanic. He is going to clean out the gutters just in time for them to fill up with the impending leaves of fall.

Things are working out. Now I can go to the game Thursday night and play golf Friday and not feel guilty about the yard work.

Now if I only had a chocolate banana muffin…..

Gigi's Dreams

Gigi is a real jewel.

She often talks in her sleep. I listen to hear if I can pick up some dirt on her. She has clean dreams though. At least the ones I hear.

I love to hear the one she has with her mother. She is such a smart ass to her mother in her dreams.

Sometimes Gigi will take a swing at someone or even kick. Usually she is attacking me. She would never do this in real life.

Last night Gigi said I was screaming for Ty. I must have found his ball in the rough because I was dreaming a lot about golf.

Word Phone Numbers

I hate word phone numbers:

1-800-366-PART

1-704- 52Roads

1-800-4-MY-HOME

Just give me the real number. I have a Blackberry Mobile Phone that has 2 zillion buttons but no letters like a standard phone.

I can dial one of the word numbers if I hold down “shift” with one hand and dial the words with the other. All this while driving?

No Thanks.

I'm trying to call Sears now 4-MY-HOME.

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

Heave hoe, lash and stow, the cooks have gone to the galley long ago. Shake a leg sailor, rise and shine, you’ve had your sleep and I’ve had mine.

This is how my father used to wake me up as a kid. It was some old sailor saying he learned in the Navy. I always thought it was harsh.

My dad enjoyed mornings like I do.

My mother used to say, “Wake up itty bitty baby,” even until I was grown. I always felt like she should have knocked that off by the time I was five.

Every morning she would get up early without fail or complaint and fix breakfast for the family.

In those days as a child I had total protection.

I miss those days but can easily relive them in my mind.

Sigh, well off to slay dragons and mine salt.

Oh! I need to get Gigi a cup of coffee. I’d better watch my toes.

Oh The Pain!

I opened the kitchen cabinet to get a coffee mug to take to Gigi. I have given her coffee in bed for as long as we have been married.

The door of the cabinet opens to the wall where we have a wall phone. I opened it too far and knew in my mind what was bout to happen but my body couldn’t react fast enough. Heck I could react at all.

The hard plastic receiver fell from the phone. Now time goes in slow motion. My brain is screaming nooooooooooo as the hard brittle object careens toward my bare meatless toes.

Sure enough the plastic receiver finds the optimum impact point to maximize the pain.

As always there is a slight delay but clear knowledge that a big burst of pain is coming.

Now back to real time and motion.

Oh the pain! I’m hopping around and screaming. I know the pain will pass in a minute or so. The dogs bark and Gigi wakes to ask what is going on.

Why so much pain? I never break anything and my toes feel fine now.

Anatomy of a Weekend

Sunday is a big turnaround day. The morning is full of optimism. You are in fact still in full swing of the weekend.

I need to go to church but won’t. I will cut more grass at least a few hours in the pasture.

Ah, to gloat over Carolinas win over Jacksonville last night. Then there is the PGA Championship this afternoon on HDTV.

However there is the undeniable fact that he sand is about to run out of the hourglass. The weekend will soon be over. Tomorrow will be Monday and back to the salt mines, the traffic, and the decisions that come with work.

How did I squander away another Friday night and Saturday?

It’s like when you take a week vacation and Friday rolls around. Shit! I gotta pack and go home!

Did I do everything I wanted to do? I quickly go over a mental calendar for next week.

“Don’t panic”, I tell myself. I have a home game against Miami Thursday night and the big room mate golf challenge Friday.

Oh wait! It’s still Sunday morning and it’s not even light yet. I’m going for a cup of coffee and enjoy.

THE NATURE OF HOST-PARASITE INTERACTIONS

Types of Symbiotic Associations

1. Mutualism. Both members of the association benefit.

2. Commensalism. There is no apparent benefit or harm to either member of the association.

3. Parasitism. One member of the association lives at the expense of the other member.

With Cedie and Millie you would call their relationship mutualism.

Cedie has the most cute pink belly and with little brown spots. She also has a big plumy tail. Her belly is very warm and constantly exposed because she is missing the right rear leg entirely.

Enter Millie. Millie loves big fluffy bedding and craves a nice warm spot to sleep. Cedie’s belly is perfect.

Cedie on the other hand gets her belly covered in fur as God intended.

Yard Work

I was out in the yard this morning sweating like a deadbeat writing a check. We have thousands of sticks that drop off our trees from storms and squirrels.

After a while you have to pick up and rake these limbs and twigs. I do not find this fun.

It occurred to me that Boy George doing the exact same thing as punishment for a crime in the state of New York.

Time for a shower, lunch and a nap.

Saturday!

Ah the weekend! Gigi woke up around 5 AM and she was so excited it was Saturday that she woke me.

Saturday is better than sleeping. We’ll get in a nap this afternoon after I do yard work. After all the Carolina Panthers game is tonight and I struggle to stay awake past 10 PM so I’ll need a nap.

When I woke I saw three dog cobras poised to strike me. When dogs sleep on their backs their back feet stick in the air. Their feet are tapered like a cobra head. Cedie only has one rear foot and of course Haley has two, hence three cobras. You know a dog is sleeping well when they are on their back.

Gigi went to Sam’s Club yesterday and bought some big industrial quantities of food. We are excited about all the fresh fruit. I know most of it will rot before we eat it.

She also bought a leg of lamb. I love lamb but rarely eat it. Lambs are so cute.

We lay in bed and talked about cooking some mashed potatoes with the lamb and having a big green salad. She bought massive quantities of fancy ass greens from Sam’s.

I would like to get another batch of beer brewed this weekend if I have time. I have three batches under my belt now. Only the first is ready to drink and it’s half gone. It is so good. Batch 2 will be a month old and ready to drink next Saturday. I checked batch 3 yesterday and none of the bottles exploded.

Office Video

My office video is back up. I had to move it to the other end of my office.

See the sofa? The computer that used to run the cam is behind it. The camera itself was on the bookcase at the left.

This is the view from my desk. A different computer runs the cam until I figure out what the problem is.

I rarely use that sitting area and suspect the cleaning people have sex on the sofa.

That is a stuffed fake border collie to the left of the sofa.

Naked Guy

Damn I feel old fashioned. I’m going to have to stick or pierce something. Maybe get a tattoo?

I went to lunch at PF Changs and all the kids working there had black hair, long sideburns, clod hoppers with 2 inch soles, any fold of skin pierced, and tattoos everywhere. They all looked very similar.

Yesterday I saw an 86 year old man naked at Linville Country Club. It was frightening. Old men at old rich country clubs get naked a lot and seem to linger and talk while naked.

All of these beautiful young people at Changs and elsewhere are marking their bodies far more than they should.

At 86 they’ll be ugly enough and potentially uglier with saggy stuck places and drawings.

I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I’m still trying to purge the image of that naked grandpa.

Sticks and Stones

I’m back from my two day isolation from the world. No phones, no email, no TV, nothing.

This drives me crazy. I don’t find it relaxing to be away from communication.

I did enjoy the lack of impending doom news from the Middle East.

I don’t enjoy the NC Mountains anymore. It’s too minimalist. It’s too hard to get from point A to point B.

There are too many apple stands, split rail stacked fences and stone walls. Enough already, it’s like living on Walton’s Mountain.

We stayed in a friend’s 7,000 square foot vacation home made of… you guessed it, tree bark, logs, stone, and the whole lodge look. Good night Jim Bob, good night John Boy.

And I’ve got to tell you I don’t trust people that don’t drink coffee first thing in the morning in the morning.

We were with a group of eight guys and only two of us staggered to the coffee pot. The rest were chugging orange juice, milk and crap like that.

We played golf on a beautiful course with lots of stacked stones and logs. These were all natural.

Time and Effort

What a day. I drove from Charlotte, NC to Asheville, NC to visit with a new client. It was a two and half hour drive up and two and a half back.

We met for an hour, had a leisurely lunch then headed to the Asheville Airport to admire his planes.

We visited for about three hours and built a good relationship. My business is about relationships and trust, plus results.

I am tired but did nothing physical but drive and eat. I talked on the phone all day.

There are two economies out there. There is the time and effort economy and then there is the results economy.

If you work for a wage or salary then you are part of the time and effort economy. You can potentially work longer hours and make more money, or you can work harder and produce more and make more money.

Both have their limits. There are but so many hours in the day. You can only get but so efficient as an individual.

I am part of the results economy. I am not wealthy but live comfortably and measure my reward by free time, hence the title of this blog.

I can run my business with a mobile phone and a laptop. It doesn’t matter where I am, at my desk, in my car, or at my home. I see and think the same at all these locations.

My income potential is unlimited if I leverage my time and skills effectively.

I have some clients that insist I be at my desk when I talk to them. They came from a time and effort job.

Other clients from the results economy communicate with me by email and phone. All they want is a bottom line answer, not effort.

I have very qualified people in the time and effort economy supporting me. I could not do my job without them. In turn the time and effort employees are very dependant on my results. We are very dependant on each other.

Tomorrow I will take my sorry results economy butt and head back to Lineville, NC to play golf with some colleagues. Many of them will be much more successful than me and I will learn from them.

I may be off line until Thursday.

Sleep

I love it when I sleep well. I have been on a roll lately. It’s a real pleasure to go to bed and blissfully sleep deeply for hours on end.

My wife on the other hand has been suffering from insomnia. Every night about 2:30 she wakes and ends up waking me.

I am so zoned that I usually stagger to the sofa and finish catching z’s.

Haley, the single patch border collie is so happy to discover that she is alive every time she wakes up.

So at 2:30 Haley is running around tossing toys, sniffing breath and doing just generally annoying doggy stuff.

Meanwhile, Peaches and Cedie are like me. Ya’ll just shut up and go to sleep!

Webcam Alert!

An alert reader (my sister) pointed out a new object on the St Croix harbor cam.

To the right of the Red Shelter is a new trash can painted with conk shells.


Harbor Cam

The Man from Manitoba

We have many animals that share their lives with us.

I prefer female animals mainly because females are generally sweeter and I don’t like seeing all that male stuff hang down.

My oldest sister thinks male dogs should be required to wear pants. She also gets mad when you sneeze but that’s another story.

We have always had animals from a place that started with an M.

Peaches the border collie is from Mt. Gilead, NC, Millie the cat was from Midland, NC, Lady the horse is from Matthews, NC, Boscoe the parrot is from Monroe, NC, Galaxy the border collie was from Mobile, AL, and the list goes on.

A few years ago Gigi got on this jag to get a PMU horse (Pregnant Mare Urine). They actually raise and keep horses pregnant just for their urine. It’s used in some female medicine.

So when a male horse is born they send him off to slaughter.

Gigi was telling me about this male horse. I did not want another mouth to feed, they eat like a horse, ha, ha, and I made a funny.

Plus he would have big horsy male stuff and he wasn’t from an M place.

“He’s from Manitoba,” she said.

It turns out you can ship a horse from Manitoba for $600.

He was the most scrawny lice infested this when we got him. He was tiny.

Several years later he’s a beautiful adult Arabian minus a few key male parts that makes him a gelding.

Ricky Sings

Yesterday I happened to channel surf to TV Land channel.

I finished watching Green Acres and they were about to play an old I Love Lucy episode. I decided to watch just to see how thin the plot would be.

About ¾ the way through Ricky sings a song at his club. I hate it when Ricky sings. He has a terrible voice and the music is awful. What a waste of time.

Crap that show is so old that Castro wasn’t even the leader of Cuba when the first episodes were filmed.

The Explosion

Here I sit reeking of beer.

On weekends I take anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes to tend to my newly acquired beer making hobby. Today was “bottling day” for batch three.

I spent time this morning cleaning and sanitizing bottles and sanitizing anything that would come into contact with the beer. (hoses, filler, tanks)

This afternoon I planned to stand over the sink, watch PGA Golf, and fill and cap bottles. This is actually fun for me.

About bottle 7 I heard a creaking sound as I capped. Suddenly the bottle shattered from the stress and 12 ounces beer flew everywhere. Half was on me and the rest equally scattered around the small kitchen in the guest house.

At this point I couldn’t stop but only triage the situation. I felt like the crew on Apollo 13.

Everything was flowing and I had a system going. I tiptoed around beer and broken glass as I grabbed a towel and began moping with my foot while I continued to fill bottles.

God forbid if a single friggin germ gets in this beer. Everything I read says contamination is the single biggest cause of beer problems. So how could I stop? I already have two weeks and about two hours in this batch, and it tastes so good now.

Plus Gigi will kill me if I stink up the guest house with stale beer. My hobby will be forbidden.

Eventually I got it cleaned up and everything put away but I do stink of stale beer.

Well I’m off to the barn to clean horse pooh and then a shower.

The Dreaded “Click”

We have an unwritten rule around here.

If you open the dishwasher and discover that the dishes are clean then you are “it”. You have to put up the dishes.

The clear indication that you are “it” is that a small click is heard when you open the door as the soap dispenser resets.

So I’m happily waiting on my wife this morning. I served her coffee in bed, then I went off to blog and watch ESPN.

Around 8:15 I decided to make some cheese toast.

So I fire up the broiler, butter some bread, sprinkle some parmesan cheese on the bread and top it with American cheese.

I toss it in the broiler and do a quick cleanup.

As I open the dishwasher I heard it, the dreaded click.

I can’t fake it at this point; Gigi will know I walked away from the clean dishes.

Its not that I mind cleaning out the dishwasher. The problem is there is always something in the dishwasher that I can’t figure out where in the heck it goes. Usually it’s some plastic container.

The odd piece will get crammed in a drawer or shelf until discovered by Gigi. Then I can hear it, “Reggie, you know better than this. You are such a man. This doesn’t belong here”.

A Tale of Two Blogs, or Am I a Blog Mule?

I am not a writer, and certainly not much of a reader, but I enjoy jotting down my thoughts and getting comments from others that read them.

I started blogging back in January of ‘06 when I went on vacation in St Croix. My main objective was to share with my friends and family my thoughts, sights, sounds and photos of the fun and adventures I was having on the island.

I did this by posting pictures and notes daily on a web site and even included a live web cam I set up from the villa.

Blogging soon became addictive to me. I switched over from the web content to the blogger site for ease of posting.

I look forward to sharing my life with strangers. There is a lot of crap in my head that needs to be digitized for my own sake.

Now the second blog.

For years I have run a small web site called Extreme Tailgate. It chronicles our NFL Carolina Panther tailgating and adventures we have at the game.

It usually contains silliness and pictures from all my tailgating buddies along with comments.

This year I decided to use the blogger format for simplicity sakes and run with it that way.

This morning however I found myself typing, cutting and pasting like a mad man for over an hour and a half.

What have I become? Two blogs? What the hell, I don’t work for the daily planet!

Take a deep breath Reggie! Enjoy you blogging. Enjoy your life. Don’t make this work.

Twas A Shitty Day

I rarely have shitty days.

My assistant at work gave me her two weeks notice. She was and is a well qualified and good employee. She will be missed.

Now for the search for a new employee which is always stressful.

Being self employed has its drawbacks. All the fun and leisure comes to an end when my right hand assistant is gone from the workplace.

My idea of work is find a client, watch over the client, manage the big picture and let the assistant handle all the details. I hate details but they have to be addressed.

So now I must face the reality of details until a hire is made.

I must read resumes and distill the bullshit. I must find the most coveted thing that only your inner soul gave you and that is someone with common sense. Education is fine but common sense is golden. Few people have real common sense. Add some humor and you have a real gem.

It also helps if they are not attractive. Attractive employees are distracting and they can make my wife jealous. A nice clean business look is preferred over smoking hot any time.

So I’m looking for a slightly homely unemployed individual with common sense and a sense of humor.

So I finally take to the golf course with a couple of buddies and shoot the worst score in a year and a half.

Then the terrorists, damn inconsiderate terrorists.

Gigi and I planned to go to London in October, then Scotland, then France. Gigi decided hell no to that idea yesterday. I couldn’t go now even if there wasn’t someone wanting to kill us on the plane because I need a slightly homely unemployed individual with common sense and a sense of humor back home watching the business.

And So It Begins

I realize I have readers here, down under and up over yonder so many of you will not know the importance of what is about to happen.

Take your soccer or football, ice hockey, skiing, “fill in your sport here” and render it down to its essence. Concentrate and distill that essence and you have what the NFL means to me. American football, The National Football League.

And so it begins.

Our own Carolina Panthers have their first preseason game here Saturday night against the Buffalo Bills.

I’ll be at every game. There will be grills smoking, beer to drink, tales to tell, trash talking, laughing, yelling, disgust, and jubilation.

I’m not sure what is about the NFL. It makes grown men adolescents again. None of us have or ever did have the athletic ability of the men we watch and admire. But in our minds we do just for a few hours.

Just for a few hours we can run on fuel of pure testosterone and our wives excuse us.

Winning is everything. Pride of your team is everything. Pride of your city is everything.

Then we humbly come home, hoarse from yelling, sweaty and smelling like beer and charcoal. We shower and settle back into real life for another week.

Confidence is high this year that The Carolina Panthers will go all the way back to the Super Bowl.

I am so confident that is 6 months I plan to watch Carolina play from the warmth of St Croix and scheduled the trip around the event. They haven’t seen tailgating on the island until we get there.

Dog Snouts

This is the second article is a series about dog parts that I love.

Today’s subject is dog snouts.

I love dog snouts, the cold whiskers on the sides when you hug them, the little bitty whiskers on the end that tickle you when they sniff you.

Haley likes to smell our breath in the morning. It is a nice stinky treat for her. Haley’s snout whiskers feel like a seal is inspecting you.

I like their serrated lips. Have you noticed how sticky dog lips are when they playfully grab at you with their mouth?

Black shiny dog noses are a treat too. They look like they are made of rubber and they are so strangely shaped.

Peaches has a brown nose. This was discussed by Gigi and I before we paid for her. We have never owned a brown nosed dog.

It has worked out just fine.

The Challenge


Last November me and my old college roommate from the 70’s played golf with Ty and his old college roommate from the 80’s.

The game was played on neutral turf at the famous Pinehurst, NC.

We beat Ty and Brian like a rented mule. That was even with me whiffing two shots on the same tee. How embarrassing was that?

We said any time you could challenge us to a rematch.

Well the challenge has been tossed out with lots of trash talk, and threats like bring car titles and such.

So since we are defending our title we chose to play on my home course at Pine Lake Country Club. The match will be the morning of August 25, 2006.

We are playing for pride and the coveted Thunder Jug Trophy. Actually it was a cotton or q-tip holder that I bought from Wal-Mart. Thunder Jugs are hard to come by these days.

On the top is etched with blue Sharpie 2005 Bruce Crockett – Reg Hunnicutt, Jr. Hopefully Bruce and I will hoist this trophy in victory again on the 25th.

Updates to follow.

Dog Paws

I love dog paws, especially the front paws.

Last night I was massaging Haley’s paws in the middle of the night.

Paw pads fill like tightly stuffed water balloons and they get rough from hours of herding (play).

Paw pads all have a familiar pattern that I am sure God put there for a reason. They all have a little pocket in the middle that dogs just love to get scratched.

Then all dogs have little bear claw toenails.

Cedie only has one back paw on the left leg so we massage her single back paw almost daily, and scratch her right ear daily since she can’t scratch. Cedie groans like a Wookie when we do this to her ear.

Finally all dogs paws smell like Fritos or popcorn. I understand that is some scent gland dogs use to mark territory.

NFL Football Hall of Fame

Enough Said:

Idiots. Who would approve such a design?

Cocaine Bust

Gigi turned on the morning news and there was a story about a big cocaine bust in Rock Hill, SC near the theme park Carowinds.

“Oh God, I hope it’s not Ty”, I said.

“What?” said Gigi.

“There was a big koteen bust somewhere near Carowinds and I hope it not Ty. You never know about people”, I said.

“You’re such and old fart. Its cocaine not koteen”, Gigi said in a smartass tone.

They flashed a picture of two black men that were arrested and a third suspect got away. The street value was over a million. At least I knew now it wasn’t Ty unless he was the third guy missing.

“I bet they hate they got caught. That’s a lot of money. You know they went to a lot of trouble to get that cocaine all the way here and just when they were about to sell it they get caught”, Gigi said.

“I wonder if they will tell on the third guy.” Gigi said.

An Interesting Observation

Crash dummies always wear yellow laced shoes.

Crash dummies are shiny slick Caucasians.

Crash dummies have the same tattoo on their head.

Crash dummies have white wires coming out of their knees and ankles.

Crash dummies wear matching yellow shorts and shirts.

I Read A Whole Book!

A faithful and alert reader and friend, I’ll call her Lory, gave me a compelling book called My Many Colored Days by Dr Seuss.

The book was so good that I couldn’t put it down. I broke my own rules and read it cover to cover in one sitting.

The plot was very similar to my blog entry on July 14th.

In fact, I’m to have words with this physician fellow Seuss if I run into him. He may have stolen my idea.

Thank you Lory.

Home Invasion

What’s this home invasion crap?

I few years ago the local media started using this term without asking me or informing me. The first time I heard Home invasion Gigi and I turned to each other and said, “What the hell? Are Martians invading us now?”

It’s called first-degree burglary, and conspiracy to commit first-degree burglary.

That doesn’t sound so nice as home invasion.

Home invasion my butt. I guess the media will soon start calling murder “unwilling life termination”.
It sounded like bombs dropping. The storm moved up quickly and unexpectedly.

Gigi has just stepped out to feed and put up the horses for the evening.

Haley was down in the pasture herding the horses.

Then the bottom dropped out and rain came and came like a hurricane. It wouldn’t let up.

“I hope Gigi and Haley aren’t stuck at the barn”, I thought as I looked out of the kitchen window for her shoes. If I saw her muddy shoes on the porch of the guest house then I knew she had made it at least there safely.

No shoes in sight.

The barn is barely a shelter and a magnet for lightening with the electric fence.

So I grabbed my monster sized golf umbrella and headed to the barn. The road up there was already flooding.

I rounded the corner and found Gigi and Haley huddled together on a pallet trying to stay dry.

Gigi grabbed up Haley in her arms and we hastily returned back to the safety of the house.

In two days we have managed quite a damage report, one TV, one roof leak, two huge trees fallen on the fence, and the item keep adding.

I know the insurance company will hate us, but I can’t keep coughing up a thousand dollar for repairs every time a bad thunderstorm passes.

Morning Errands

I headed out early today to run a few errands.

My first stop was Home Depot. I needed only a new wheel for the wheel barrow.

You actually wear out wheel barrows having three horses. We try to keep two wheel barrows operating at all times.

Then I wondered over to the grilling stuff.

I am a purest when it comes to grilling. It must be real charcoal or nothing. I do not do gas grills.

And the term is grilling, not barbequing. Barbequing is a cooking technique that you can do on a grill or several other contraptions. It is a method that slowly cooks meats and gradually breaks down the fats to render them tender and tasty.

You don’t barbeque a steak, hamburger or a hotdog, you grill them. You can barbeque on a grill a pork shoulder or beef biscuit. This takes many hours and lots of beer to barbeque.

Any how, I picked up two large bags of Kingsford Charcoal (the original charcoal) and bought a new grill surface. The old one was might greasy and getting kind of nasty looking. Plus, I know this grill is getting ready for a real workout with the NFL season right upon us.

Then I went over to Food Lion to pick up some groceries. Food Lion is a Dutch company. The Dutch use a lion for every company they own. ING, Food Lion, etc.

Have you ever been shopping at the grocery store and wandered from your cart, then suddenly think, “I better keep an eye on the cart, someone may steal something.”

How stupid is that? Who would steal something that is not paid for yet?

The Storm


Last night around 6 PM a big muscular thunderstorm was bearing down on us. I checked the radar and sure enough if we both ran we could get the horses watered and fed and in their stalls in time for the storm.

I unplugged the electric fence, ran the dinner bell to call the horses while simultaneously cleaned and filled their water buckets.

Meanwhile Gigi was dumping grain and filling the hay hoppers.

Moments later a giant bolt of lightening hit and our world was jolted into the 19th century. The power went out. Oh the humanity!

Fortunately the storm had dropped the temperature from 100 to 85.

So we sat and looked at each other. Dead silence. Even the dogs looked bored. It was now 6:17.

I called Duke Energy and reported the outage. The nice computer told me we should have power restored by 9:00 PM August 3rd. Okay, they got the day right, but three hours?

So back to staring at each other in dead silence. I made a few half hearted advances toward Gigi and Gigi looked at me like you have to be crazy. Gigi never has any adult marital thoughts (just trying to keep the blog clean) unless there is electricity coming out of the wall.

So, plan B. I went out the garage and took out the emergency generator, plugged it into the panel and fired up a few circuits. We now had TV and a few light and the refrigerator was operating.

Ah but to no avail. Apparently all the electricity has to be working for Gigi to feel adult marital thoughts.

The Brain

My brain woke me up very early his morning. Something was amiss.

I went over a quick mental checklist.

Did a noise wake me? No.

Am I cold? No.

Am I hot? No.

Body functions? Bells and whistles go off.

Thanks God for a brain that watches over you while you are blissfully sleeping. Otherwise…oh whatever, you get the idea.

Then I get back in bed and my brain says, “Whatcha doing?”

“I’m trying to go back to sleep inner Reggie. It’s 4:00 AM”, I told my brain.

“Don’t you want some good hot coffee and read news and email? After all I just saved you from certain embarrassment”, brain said.

“Okay, I’ll feed you some coffee brain.”

As soon as Haley knows I up then she tears in the kitchen to go out and do her business. She still has puppy bladder but is getting very good at holding for long periods of time.

I made the coffee and Haley scratches at the back door to come in.

Haley hurries into the living room and I hear a cartoonish monkey noise screaming. I was a stuffed monkey toy Gigi bought Haley yesterday and apparently her doggy brain had been thinking about this all night. She started at it where she left off last night.

Meanwhile Gigi’s brain wakes her up and she goes over a mental checklist.

Did a noise wake me? Yes. A Monkey. Hmm, this requires more brain function so I must wake up Gigi to investigate the monkey noise.

“Reggie, are you awake?”

Now the whole household is up and running at 4:30 AM.

Thank you Mr. Brain, I guess.

Where Are The Cool Clothes?

Holy smoke it’s hot and I was dumb enough to play golf today.

I bought and actually drank 8 16 ounce Gatorades, two 16 ounce waters, two 16 ounce beers after the round, peed slightly twice just to see if I could, then took a cool tub bath just to cool off.

Somebody needs to make cool clothes. Not something that wicks away sweat but something that will pump in some cool air.

I’ve got a pair of these high dollar Under Armor long johns that work well in the winter. Where are the cool clothes?

Sharper Image has a thing called the Cool Collar. I saw the demo in the store and wanted one but they were out of stock. I ordered on online and await shipment.

Okay…..my neck will be cool next week, what about the other 95% of my body?

The Redneck Report

For now, all is quite on the redneck front.

Said redneck, now the defendant, was on a vacation of sorts for the last 5 days.

We saw his hillbilly ass (yes they are from West VA) come rolling back in town late and loud the other night. Part of his desire in life is to be loud which he accomplishes.

I am sure by now he has been served his littering citation and I await a summons to appear in court. Yes they will actually call us to court. I can just see him in court with his mullet and tee shirt laughing loudly.

I believe the key to this conflict lies in the belief that I have encroached on part of his property where our properties meet.

We live at the end or a big ass cul-de-sac. I have 8 acres and the defendant has about 1 ½ acres. The defendant has so much stuff, trucks cars, boats, RVs, motorcycles, 4-wheelers, go-carts, business equipment that he has run out of space to part all this crap.

The cul-de-sac takes a dramatic sweep that is biased to our property. When this road was paved the engineer asked us if this was okay to use most of our right of way. We said yes because we were caught up in the excitement of finally getting our road paved.

The actual property divide between the defendant and citizen Reggie’s is measured from the center of the road and not the center of the cul-de-sac.

The defendant thinks the divide is measured from the center of the cul-de-sac and we have encroached on his property so he is sprawling his redneck stuff on the land he thinks is his. It’s his version of touching all the food on a plate so he claims it all.

Several years ago I had the border surveyed and had iron pins inserted. The defendant said, “Anybody could have put those pins in” and will not accept reality.

So we continue to feud over what is actually about 20 feet.

Two years ago I fenced this border and the feud has escalated to what you read now.

I can feel tension in the air.