So True!

Here I Am

Wow it has been a while.

I'm in San Francisco at a business conference. Last night I ate chicken wings at a gay sports bar. They didn't have gay sports on the TV just regular sports but all the wing eaters were gay except me. It was culturally interesting to watch. They absolutely love major league baseball out here.

Most of the guys in this city resemble the nerd on the cover of "For Dummies" books. Dark hair sticking up with bold frame glasses. It looks like an Apple commercial everywhere.

Most of the local women talk and end their sentences on a high note. That gets annoying after a while but they all do it.

I like the new styles in hair. I now wash my hair, drive the jeep to work top off, splash some diet Pepsi on my head and I am stylish and good to go for the rest of the day. I think that is how most of the young folks must be getting that "unique" look.

Everything is so expensive out here. I don't know how people afford to live here.

I expected this place to be a nerd Nirvana but I am paying $12 a day for Internet and can't seem to fine a sustainable mobile signal to complete a call.

It is cold here, really cold. It is like a premature autumn here. The temps are in the lows 60's with a strong breeze and no humidity.

I have always liked this place. It is so different from my usual haunts.

Stress

I had about a two hour fire to stomp out this afternoon and I found the conflict exhilarating.

You see I have prided my self over my career to be able to compartmentalize my work and personal life. I developed a way in the late 1990's to work less than 30 hours a week but yield the effort of a person working overtime. It worked most of the time and allowed me to make a nice living and enjoy life to the fullest now.

Sadly in recent years and months this system has eroded to where I am beginning to be a stressed out person. I don't take stress well even though I have a stressful job. I can't be fired because I am self employed but I can fail. I have avoided stress and conflicts that are sometimes necessary.

This vacation has been relaxing and enjoyable. Yes I had two blow outs on the way down and yes my back was strained picking up a snagged crab trap caught on my anchor.

I have slept well and have napped every afternoon. I have riiden my bike, rode in the boat and taken several long Jeep rides. I am relaxed.

So I got this call this afternoon where I suspected a client had been defrauded out of a lot of money. I had only hours to reverse a potential problem that could involve hundreds of thousands of dollars.

My assistant is very capable and I am fortunate to have her. I gave her instructions and she made phone calls and I made phone calls from my Jeep. Within a few hours the deal was undone and everything was alright.

I am relaxed again. The vacation is working.

You Ever Get the Idea That I Exagerate?

Oh I have been a bad man today. I took Origami II out through treacherous waters toward Little Cumberland Island.

We landed on a small barrier island and released a pack of egg sucking dogs. These dogs were able to eradicate both the nesting birds and turtles in a few minutes.

I urinated on an oyster bed.

We left behind a colony of these dogs to populate the island.

I took a few moments to change my outboard motor's oil. Once I dumped the oil and trash we headed back to Jekyll for the future assault on Little Cumberland.

I need to find some more egg sucking dogs and toxic pollutants for my next visit.

The Hooch

Here is our outdoor setup this morning. I made this awning extension to protect us from sun and rain. It worked!

This is my outdoor kitchen with two stoves, two grills and a fryer. That is a yellow squirrel fan to the right to create my own "trade winds".

Supper this evening. My sister Etta to the right, her husband Al to the left of her, Uncle Wendell in the blue left and his wife Barbara to the left, Peach Pod in front left, then Diane center and her husband Bill, then Gigi walking with a dish. More were there but the fast eaters moved on.

Sometimes Things Work Out Just Fine

Yesterday afternoon we were visited by a thunderstorm of Biblical proportions. I heard the thunder coming and rushed out to cover the Jeep and secure the tent room.

Thunder storms down here are never in the distance. They hit directly with numerous strikes that are instantaneous in the report. One can literally hear the lightening cracking through the air many times very close by.

In about 30 minutes the power went off.

A potential problem arises when you have 5 five frightened dogs in an RV with outside temps in the 90's and steam rising with zero power. Fear not for I had a plan.

I fired up the generator on my RV bumper and had enough power for one AC, TV, computer and a few lights. Oh and I have satellite TV. Everyone else lost power and cable and I had both. The cable is still down this morning.

Sometimes things work out for the best in spite of bad times.

Another stroke of genus is my bringing the Roomba robotic vacuum. This is the first time ever that the RV is getting cleaned daily. No dog hair I promise.

Tomorrow I'll give you a tour of my hooch I made outside. It gives us enough covered space for a dinner supper of 15. I know, we did it Saturday night.

Disaster Hits

Where do I begin?

Gigi, five dogs and one parrot rolled out of Charlotte around 9:30 AM Friday for the 6 hour trip to Jekyll Island. It was the usual stuff...us yacking and the dogs looking at all the cars.

About 40 miles out I noticed rubber flying up. Could I have run over old tread from a truck blow out? Did I have a blowout? I decided to stop at the next ramp to have a look.

When I opened the door the air felt like a steam bath. It was already in the 90's with high humidity. Upon inspection I saw that sure enough...I had a blowout and quite a bit of damage.

I told Gigi not to worry that I would change the tire and we would be on our way. I looked under the RV to see where the spare was and I heard the distinct sound of my scalp being penetrated. I know this sound from years of EEG tests with receptors being plugged directly in my scalp. I fell back rolling in sweat and noticed my head was bleeding. I had plunged my head into a corner of angle iron.

I continued to set up to change the tire when I walked past a mirror and saw my face looked like a boxer on the wrong end of a fight.

In about 20 minutes I had the RV tire changed and we were on our way. I asked Gigi to call the insurance company about the body damage and I call my assistant back in Charlotte to call ahead for some new tires. After all it is my experience if one tire burst so will another. Better to be safe and get a new set all around even if it costs us some travel time.

Boom! Just five minutes moving and another tire blew. Fortunately my assistant had made arrangements about 20 miles downstream.

The tire guy came up and replaced one right in the rim by the side of the highway.

Meanwhile Gigi and the dogs cooked in the sweltering heat. The AC barely kept the cab in the 80's and it was close to 100 outside.

We followed the tire guy back and got 5 new tires and after a four hour delay we were on our way.

I decided not to go to the hospital for stitches. I was just too damn tired. Besides I think it closed and is healing just fine. Another reason never to shave my head.

I'm Actually on Vacation......

I hit the floor at 4:30 AM. Partially because of excitement and partially because of the last mintute todo list that kept running in my head.

RVing takes more effort than just throwing some clothes in a bag with a toilet kit.

I've had several system failures since last summer that had to be addressed. The main valve on the water heater had to be replaced if I wanted hot water and I do. The 12 volt system main circuit board was bad mainly I suspect from the crappy electrical service in Southport last season. And finally I discovered a bad propane regulator that would have shut down my entire propane system if it wasn't replaced.

I hooked up the RV to the truck last night and packed all the heavy stuff in the bed of the truck. I have a full tank of fuel, reserve diesel, eight good tires at maximum PSI air pressure, and freshly serviced motors (Jeep, truck, generator, outboard). Can you say carbon foot print?

Now I'll spend 6 and a half hours on an interstate highway praying that all the tires hold together and my aged diesel keeps on keeping on to make it to the island. Nothing worse than a blow out or breakdown while traveling and I have experienced both.

Once there I'll spend the next few hours setting up in a drenching sweat.

But somehow it is all fun.

Oh, one other ting...it's goat water Friday!

Battles I am Fighting

I am so tired of dealing with incompetent dick heads at banks, mortgage companies, insurance companies and internal compliance. My life has become a non revenue producing swirl of paperwork to cover everyone's ass but mine. This sucks.

Yesterday I got this email from Quicken Loan:

Hello, Sir.

Please fill out this form with you business information only, sign and date and return via fax to Underwriting at 734-386-2200 or scan/email to me.

Thank you, Sir.

Paul

800-226-6308 ext 17212

The form was a release allowing Quicken to access my business tax returns from the IRS.

Forget for a moment that I had sent this form twice previously which calls into doubt as to their ability to underwrite a loan. Forget that I had previously supplied the document that they are requesting.

This made no sense to me as to why they would request a document from the IRS that they already had and was supplied by me.

Paul's assistant informed me that they now compare what the IRS has against what I supplied them to make sure I wasn't lying.

Thank you real estate speculators you lying cheats and shits. Thank you all of you who walked away from your loans and lied on your documents. You are worthless drivel to me and humanity right now. I have to pay for your sins now while you got off scott free. (Is it scot free or scott free?)

On another battle front I am requalifying for my business line of credit that I have had for 10 years. Suddenly I am a shiftless bum to the bank. I have spent three weeks trying to convenience the bank I am solvent. Today I will drop the mother of all bombs on them that gives them actual revenues owed me along with accounts receivable. Who knows what the bill will be from my CPA.

I need a vacation. Come hither sweet Jekyll Island. I will pull into the home of anonymous on Friday for a 10 day vacation.

Father's Day

Yesterday was father's day for everyone. It on the calendar...you couldn't avoid it no matter what your gender.

There is no qualifacation for celebrating a national holiday. I personally think the day celebrates positive male role models and not the results of a moment of involuntary spasms in the loins.

So I told everyone, male and female happy father's day. We need more positive role models and good parents.

Next Week

I am planning my most adventurous Origami trip to date. I want to take my trusty dingy from Jekyll Island to Cumberland Island.

I consulted with my friend Mic, a maritime expert and he pretty much pointed out that I was a true idiot for taking an 11 foot boat on a 3 mile trip between islands. I concurred but said I would do the trip under most ideal conditions and I would consult the charts and have my marine radio handy.

I will actually be landing on Little Cumberland island. The whole island is mostly natural and there are wild horses, alligators, pigs and I'm sure lots of birds. There is an old lighthouse that I want to visit.

Most people enter the island from a ferry on the Florida end so my end should be deserted.

It will be fun having a beach all to myself.