Second Hand Stress

"I don't want your problem to become my problem".

"Sorry, I don't have a dog in this fight".

Second hand stress has been identified as a real problem because it is very contagious and it causes negative cardiac reactions.

Ding dong goes the door bell, as the dogs bark, and I scramble for my pants only to see a strangler holding a Watchtower magazine designed to save my savage soul.

It all harshes my mellow.

You can try and modify behavior of others but I have concluded it is like trying to teach a pig to whistle. It will take a lot of work and effort and in the end, it just pisses off the pig.

No, I'll withdraw thank you very much. What I can't change, I'll ignore.

I must preserve my peace. You? You can stress.

Time Machine

Off season work on the tailgate trailer continues. This week I am installing a time machine. I know it looks like LED lights but really, what time machine have you ever seen that doesn't have a lot of lights.

What I'll do is if the opponent scores, I'll dial back the machine for one minute to see if the Panthers can defend better the second time. If the opponent scores again, then it was meant to be. All this will be done without the knowledge of anyone.

If we fail to score on a drive, just before the three point try I'll dial it back to give us another shot at 6. If we miss then we still get the three point attempt.

I'll start testing this in the preseason after I get the time machine installed.

Way Neat Stuff

My tailgate pal Paul organizing his tailgate items Sunday.

Just so happens, I did a big spring cleaning on my grills and smoker.

Then, just when I thought I'd seen it all I catch this grill table idea....stellar.

Meanwhile, my diver Bates stops by for our Sunday afternoon ride in the country.

I put together a little centerpiece in my screen room.

200 miles to the east, my pal Rasta Claws cuts his teeth on his new Weber smoker that I got him through Paul. Us tailgaties are tight knit.

Good presentation Mr. Claws.

Finally my friend on St Croix, Doc Deep, posing in his usual fashion. This guy routinely goes down 300 feet. I'd say he is shark proof for sure.

WReggie don't go that deep.

My Favorite Things

A big old hibiscus.

Tightly wound flowers.

Fresh herbs.

My screen room.


Grilled anything.

Chickens, my wife, and laughter.


I love a lamp...they set a mood much like candles.

Old school for me, brass with a good shade. Ornate is just fine.

I have a brass lamp in my screen room and two at my office.

Tonight, after my chores are done, I'll sit in my screen room, pour a big glass of Cakebread Merlot, and relax by my lamp. The dull yellow illumination is relaxing.

Two Four

I now have running water at my tailgate thanks to a handy battery powered pump off of a five gallon tank. Plus a larger griddle for onions and such.

Check out the new upright cooler for tailgating.

Then a new two cylinder mower.

Week in Review

A Thrilling Start

The NFL schedule was released and for Panthers fans, the start couldn't be better.

I get to watch the season opener on Thursday, then all the pre game hype on Sunday. At 4 PM my Panthers play divisional Tampa on the road. The first week us all about me, live football, and total saturation in the new season.

Week two gets our legs steady for the first home game and we pull out all the stops for a Sunday 1 PM game at home vs the Lions. The first regular season home game is always special.

The following Sunday will be better than the first two weeks as we will host the Sunday Night game vs the Steelers. This means an entire day tailgating through three games.

The warm night sky, the new led lights on the trailer, the TV, the food, the fun.

September 21 is the week to be there. Bash, you will be missed.

Truck Pee Pee

My new truck has a pee pee bladder. Yes this is true.

My truck has a fill spot next to the diesel fill called Diesel exhaust fluid. It is 67% water and the balance uric fluid. This is pee pee.

I bought the federally required store bought pee pee today for $6 a gallon.....more than the diesel itself.

I am speechless.

Bet I peed a $1.75 just this morning and flushed it away. Our federal government. God love them.

A Question

First, let me say, I am not one of those TV dudes like on Lowe's or Home Depot commercials that get all excited about a new lawn mower. I loath cutting grass. It is loud, dusty, hot, and boring. I get stung occasionally and the end result is trimmed weeds of equal height. I don't have real grass. Just a nice carpet of warm weather weeds.

Second, in the 25 years I have lived here I have owned two riding mowers and two push mowers. I think that is pretty good for consumer grade lawn tractors.

Third, I am finished pouring money and effort into my old Home Depot Scott's made by John Deere mower and have arranged for its removal on Wednesday.

So the question, should I get a thousand dollar Toro that is a riding mower and run it until it freezes up? Or should I get the usual two thousand consumer lawn tractor? Or, should I get a light commercial? My goal is hassle free, mellow life experience until I die. I hope one and two don't cover my life span.

Before you suggest, me, being the gentleman city farmer, why don't I just hire the work out and continue my life of leisure. Well, I can't find another human worth a shit that will show up and work on a regular basis on their chosen profession of a lawn maintenance person. I tried last year and they were as dependable as my shitty mower.

What would you suggest?


It hit again, this time a hornet hid in a bottle of beer. I took a swig and bam!

Then the cheeks.

Reminds me of the old days.


Next year my city will have two professional teams. Welcome to Charlotte, Hornets.

You were stolen by a no count carpet bagger scalawag on evening in 2002, and deposited on the doorstep of the wretched city of New Orleans. Next year you return to your rightful place in the Queen City.

The Hornets had meaning here. You see, when the British General Cornwallis came through Charlotte during the revolution, he met fierce resistance from the local militia like a nest of angry hornets. So there us your name and there is the reason why the Hornets are ours.

Good bye Bob Cats from Bob Johnson, another reconstructionist Yankee carpetbagger.

Lesson learned for the can kidnap a franchise and get away with it. There will be and was a reckoning. Our team is back.


I needed to utilize this space.

I added a shelf.

Preparation for Easter

Big Doings

Remember when I busted my ass on these stairs? Remember Phfrankie ragging me about handrails? Well....I got the handrails. I'll stain them this weekend.

This is a new weber smoker that I got from a friend for about half price with all the modifications.

This is one sweet cooker that I got for a friend named Rasta Claws. He is very excited. It is about 25% bigger than mine. It is big enough to put a monkey in space.

Blue Crabs

Nothing says east coast mid Atlantic like blue crabs.

Aren't they beautiful?


I don't get the obsession with shaving. Lifehacker always has articles about shaving and I think, big deal.

I don't get the obsession with garage doors. My local AM talk radio station airs commercials for sales and service of garage doors like garage doors are fashion statements.

I don't get the obsession over organic lettuce. It barely has a taste. It is mostly water, organic? Really?

Spring Chicks

They are here. When they begin laying, I'll know football is here.

Bates loves peepers.


I was out doors for the past four days. Between watching golf, I was planting flowers, trimming shrubs, cooking on the grill, and dipping beer.

I decided a small side bar would be useful in the screen room to provide more shelf space. So I made some shelves and stained them.

The mower is fixed so this grass will be cut.


Garden things. I made a warm weather spigot to bring water closer. I'll mount it on a post today.

More flowers and plants today. Then the final round of The Masters.


I get it. The finesse, the history, the honor, the old country heritage, the rules, and protocol. From my iPad and TV I am watching countless hours of The Masters like I did with my father as a child.

And oh yeah, it is so southern like the Kentucky derby.

Getting Serious

This season we will invoke the Great Spirit with a Tonto headdress. The pickled eggs are powerful yes, but the new receivers will need help.

Stay tuned.

If Given A Choice

And I have a choice.....I prefer the cheapest grocery store boiled ham for my sandwich over fancy deli sliced ham.

Slap some American cheese and mayo on white bread and this become top shelf hobo dining.

365 Days

One year ago today I heard and felt a pop in my low back while rushing off to The Masters. 20 days later I had a micro discectomy. What a difference a year makes. I wasn't too thrilled to suddenly be using a cane and riding the shopping cart in Lowe's and Walmart. Now I'm close to normal but very cautious. Thankful.

When I Was A Child

They said our air would become unbreathable. It is clean.

They said our rivers and lakes would die from pollution. They are clean.

They said in 1974 (geology 101 Appalachian State) that we would run out of Natural gas. We have so much natural gas that the prices have collapsed from over supply. Same class said California would be an island by now and it is not.

In 1962 My Weekly Reader said we would be able to have video phones and we do.

We were told that drinking water would be scarce and it flows in pipes and bottles. Clean!

Frank Bormann of Eastern Airlines and Apollo 8 fame warned in the 1980s that deregulation of the airlines would lead to a few carriers and the few would raise rates to border unaffordable and they have done so.....thank you Jimi Cawduh.

In all my years of life on this earth, I have eaten only two pizzas that were not good. One was at The White Horse in 1980. One was a month ago at Zoe's. And I have met but one human in this entire planet who finds all pizza abhorrent. I pray for his eternal and damned soul. How can a man not love pizza? How?

Micky Rooney

It was about time. I thought he was already dead.


I love things that age well. Wine, my wife, beef, Worcestershire sauce, and homemade preserves.

We made these blackberry preserves ten years ago and I swear they have aged like fine wine. The flavor is rich and smooth with a big bold jammy flavor.

I even age Smuckers orange marmalade for a few years until it starts to turn dark. Give it a try. Toss aside a few bottles of Lea and Perrin while you are at it.

The Glory

Baby back ribs rubbed in maple dry rub.

Smoked 3 house in apple wood.

Steamed 3 hours in apple juice.

Cooked 20 minutes on the grill with sweet BBQ sauce.

Fall off the bone perfection.

I cracked the code.

My Friday


After. All shiny but the paint is thin. Primer is showing on the hood in one spot.

Then...a fancy pants supper at Flemings.

Good beef, lobster, and wine. I don't deserve this.

My Home

This is where I lived until I was 5. My dad had that screen porch built about 1961.

My mom and I would play, Go Fish on the front porch in the glider. My girlfriend Susie lived next door.

It snowed big every winter there.

Mom would fry bacon on the stove and I would watch next to the stove on the washing machine. The grease would pop on my thighs and burn but I couldn't resist the sight and smell so I stuck around.

There was one air conditioner in the dining room/TV room and that was swell in the hot summers.

Christmas was like it should have been for a child. I remember vividly.

What a happy memory.


Done filled up a 32.

April Fool

Happy April first, see you in September while we remodel and retool this blog in the coming summer.

You will see bigger HD screens, open concept kitchens, granite counter tops, walking distance to bars and restaurants, and ocean views.