Santa Clause

This actually happened. 

I was at the dry cleaners this morning in Concord, NC picking up some shirts. I still enjoy a freshly starched shirt now and then. 

I walked in and there was Saint Nicholas ie Santa Clause in the flesh trying on his red suit in the 3 way mirror. 

He wasn’t very jolly and didn’t even give me a polite smile at any of my comments. He didn’t ask if I had been a good boy either. 

I suppose the guy has a lot on his mind this time of year.

A Great Meeting of a New Friend

I met the most amazing human being yesterday. 

My truck badly needed diesel fuel so I headed to the local Earp’s with has BP fuel. The diesel pumps are inefficiently distributed among gasoline pumps which cause congestion. Diesel fueling takes longer because of capacity of fuel tanks.

I digress. 

I spied an open pump just behind a gasoline pump. As I pulled in a Toyota Prius maneuvered in just in front of me blocking my access to my pump.  

Now I was going to have to wait for him to fuel, buy lottery tickets, comb his hair, etc. before I could fuel. It’s the way of the modern world.

To my surprise he motioned in such a way indicating if he moved just a bit more that we both could fuel at teh same time. I acknowledged and he moved his car within the limits his pump range and he gave me access to my pump. How courteous. 

We exited our cars and began pumping fuel. I said, “Sir, I’ve not met a person with situational awareness in years. Thank you.”

He agreed and commented the world would be a much better place if we just looked around and helped other people. 

Just to continue the light conversation with my new friend I asked, “What kind of milage do you get with your car?” 

He said, “Fifty. But before you make any conclusions I must tell you I burn my trash at home.”

“Ahhh, we all make our carbon footprint somewhere,” I said. 

We both smiled and wish each other a good day. 

This actually happened. 

Mini Novel

I stopped by Harris Teeter Grocery store in Mint Hill to get some chicken to grill. Harris Teeter is a pretty upscale local grocery chain. As I sorted through “sell by” dates I noticed a dead fly trapped under the plastic lying in repose on a chicken breast like John Paul. 

Some one, somewhere, besides me, should have noticed this. 

I told the cashier and her eyes about popped out. Eyes are the only thing one can see in Mecklenburg County. Masks required. 

Speaking of masks, I then went to a feed store to buy chicken food so the hens lay eggs and feed my black snake. A guy kept staring at me and finally said, “Doctor?”

Naw, I ain’t no doctor is what I should have said.