Saturday Stuff

Oh I’ve been a mighty couch potato today.

I left the house early with the best intensions. I got the truck washed, picked up my laundry, tried to buy a 10 foot gate at Lowes and failed. They just didn’t have the right kind that I wanted so I will not be digging hole and mixing concrete today. I can live with that.

Well then off to Lowes Foods where they have the best selection in the area. Good deli, baked goods, meat, seafood, booze, etc. And no not everything down here is named Lowes.

I needed to go to Lowes Foods to forage for tailgating food and beer for tomorrow’s home game. So I took the shortcut and what was revealed to me was a giant parade complete with High School bands and even some kind of a queen sitting on the top of the back seat of a convertible. It was some kind of celebration in the town of Mint Hill.

Somehow I was in line behind the queen to be in the parade! As least my truck was cleaned but I was unshaven and way under dressed.

A cop saw the obvious mistake and flagged me away. So I settled for the inferior grocery store Food Lion.

So it’s going to be peanuts, Bubba Burgers with cheese and Michelob Lights on the menu tomorrow. That is the perfect gut bomb menu for sure.

I pulled in back at the ranch to pack for tomorrow and my father in law yells, “Hey Reg, I’m watching the game on TV tomorrow. Be sure to wave”

I smiled and chuckle in acknowledgement at his attempt at humor.

Then he says, “Be sure to wave”

Ha ha I’m thinking.

Again he says, “Reg be sure to wave”.

Once again I smiled and chuckle in acknowledgement at his attempt at humor.

It ain’t that damn funny once. Why repeat a half baked attempt at humor three times to reveal without doubt that the humor is lame?

I smile and laugh and all that crap for the third time.

Maybe he thinks he is poking a new funny at my brain every time he says it?

I’ve wasted the rest of the day watching college teams with bad uniforms. Tennessee has a solid orange uniform with a big T. How creative. No wait, I saw Rutgers last night. Bright red uniforms with a big R.

Guys go out and hire somebody to create an image and logo please?


Gigi was watching an animal documentary early this morning about the great cats. They showed this mother lion nursing her babies and I commented that baby lion’s fur is very wiry and they stink.

“How do you know that?” she said.

“Because I used to take a set of lions home and play with them,” I said.

“Huh?” Gigi responded.

I forget as a kid and teenager that I was honored to have a friend whose father was the curator of The NC Museum of Life and Science.

I spent countless coming into contact with lions, bears, monkeys, alligators, prairie dogs, birds, snakes, farm animals not to mention some national space treasures like an Apollo capsule, a lunar lander and an actual moon rock.

We would travel to Grandfather Mountain to exchange bears for breeding and get free reign to explore the mountain. It was and is a wonderful place.

You would think in 30 years I would have mentioned that I played with lion cubs as a kid.

By the way the monkeys stunk too. We had spider monkeys, capuchin monkeys, squirrel monkeys, a gibbon (ape), wooly monkeys (there were sweet), and stumped tail macaque monkeys. The macaques were the most aggressive and smelled all to be damned. The macaques had the most colorful butts too.

I never got close enough to the bears to smell them.

I’m big into smells.

Question to Ponder

How come girls write all round and loopy and boys write scratchy?

You ought to see my signature on Hunnicutt. It's just a half way H, a squiggly line with a dot over it and two big humps as two t's.


Guess who has had 5 months to take industry tests and must take them before midnight tonight to avoid fines?

Guess who just started taking said tests?

Focus Reggie. Stop blogging.

Dividend Miles

I hate messing with airline dividend miles. Rarely do you get a deal.

I have 125,000 American Miles. I want to apply these miles for two tickets to St Croix in February. American charges me 60,000 miles per person and the flight always requires a layover in Miami. But it’s free so what the heck.

Going down there is just fine. A few hours in the air, an hour on the ground in Miami and a few more hours and I’m in paradise. Ah, 84 degrees and a cold Corona with a lime slice.

Going back on American Airlines is quite a different matter. I leave late afternoon and have to spend the night in the airport in Miami and catch a 6 AM flight back to Charlotte the next day. No thanks.

So I check “the new” US Airways which is really America West. They have nonstop service to and from St Croix. Wonderful! Ah, 84 degrees and a cold Corona with a lime slice in just 3 hours.

US Airways only requires 30,000 miles and I should be fine. After all I signed up for the US Airways MasterCard which bonuses me 20,000 miles and I already had 24,000 miles. So I do the quick math…….carry the 2……and I figure I have enough miles to book a nonstop round trip free.

Not so fast there young fella.

My MasterCard account has been accruing miles separately from my regular dividend account and I am having a fit trying to get the two accounts to merge.

So I check the account every morning and make a call every week. This time I was assured by US Airways that the miles would post in one account by Monday.

I hope there are some seats left.

Paradigm Shift

There has been a paradigm shift here at the old ranch as reported yesterday in my sister-in-laws blog.

Gigi’s father is here for one of his extended stays. These stays are usually enjoyable and more tolerable since he stays in the guest house.

The first this he noticed in the guest house was a closet full of my homemade beer. He threatened to drink it all but Gigi assured me he was bluffing.

So with Larry here fall is in full swing. He always shows up in the fall. It’s as sure as the Masters and the Kentucky Derby in the spring. Fall is here; put a folk in summer because Larry is in Charlotte.

The dogs love Larry because he plays with them hours on end. Larry is a big exercise freak and reminds me of old Jack Lalanne. All of this exercise causes Larry to eat like a teenager. Most of his day is concerned with burning calories, consuming calories and saying The Rosary.

So Larry is here and fall is here. This will give me a lot of blog fotter in the coming weeks.

This Mouth Has Been One Day Without An Accident

It is amazing how a voluntary muscle like your jaw can work flawlessly for years on end without incident. You can go forever without biting your tongue or cheeks all the while grinding and chewing food into small particles. Oblivious to all this destruction is the nearby tender cheek meat of your inside cheek. Everything works in perfect coordination without incident.

Today I popped a piece of gum in my mouth and chewed a bit of my right cheek along with the gum. Surprisingly the back molars are very sharp and even more to my dismay I have continued to re-injure my cheek throughout the day by taking little new bites into the swollen cheek.

Now I have a place like raw hamburger meat in my mouth. Once bitten you continue to bite. It seems like this injured place wants to jump between my molars.

I am surprised this doesn’t happen more often especially with me. I have some huge bovine molars and big cheeks. It was just a powder keg waiting for the time to go off.

Two, No Three Things I Cannot Do

I was reading this article this morning in The Wall Street Journal about an executive that stays fit by taking a jump rope with him everywhere he goes. He says if the gym is closed or whatever he can do a 15 minute workout most anywhere.

Good for him. That is a great idea. The problem for me is I cannot jump rope. I have tried many times and I am going to try again after reading this article.

I cannot snap my fingers. No matter how hard I try I just cannot make the cool snap sound. It sounds like dry skin rubbing together.

I cannot make a loud whistle. My father could make this deafening whistle just by pushing his tongue against his bottom teeth. I wish I could do this, it would be cool.

And lastly I cannot dance. Did I say there were three things I cannot do? Well it four. My sister can dance but I surely cannot.

Fall Afternoon

It is a wonderful time of year in North Carolina for weather. This afternoon it is 72 degrees and very dry. The sun is bright and the leaves are still on the trees and have barely started to show the fall. The first cold snap will send them into brilliant colors.

Gigi has been shopping all day. I came home to three dogs eager to do potty. Cedie greeted me with loud concussion barks. I swear she is the loudest barking dog I have ever heard.

They all ran out and played and burned energy.

I cleaned the horse stalls and put the herd to bed. I am anxiously awaiting my dream salad.

So here I sit watching a documentary on Discovery HD, drinking a nice glass of red wine and munching on a saltine.

Ah, life is good.

Where’s my damn salad?

Salad Deprived

I have been salad deprived for almost two weeks now. We have avoided all salad greens ever since the big spinach collapse of ’06.

Today Gigi is headed to Sams Club to load up our salad making reserves once again.

I never realized how many salads I ate. Oh how I miss all the different greens and all the goodies my wife cuts up in her preparations. She usually has mushrooms, cheeses, green peppers, carrots, radishes, every kind of greens known to man along with some croutons and blue cheese dressing.

It’s a meal in itself.

So tonight is big salad night!

Little Known Facts about Border Collies

I have owned three border collies and two ½ border collies. I have known quite a few border collies from friends and neighbors.

I currently own two full blooded border collies and one ½ border collie and ½ Australian shepherd.

Fact one

Border collie puppies smell like no other puppy. They quite frankly stink. This worried us with our first border collie. I hate for a stinky dogs to be around. But she stopped sticking as she grew into adulthood.

Fact Two

Adult border collies don’t smell. Oh they have a little very slight odor but not an offensive natural doggy stink. It’s actually a nice smell that they have.

Fact Three

Border collies are self cleaning.

The way their fur grows allows dirt and debris to fall off as soon as they dry. Just this afternoon Haley came to the back door covered in wet mud. I told her to go back and herd.

About and hour later she brought up the horses and she was white and clean sans any smell. Amazing!

Weekend Ramblings

It was a rather lazy weekend or what part of the weekend that has passed thus far.

I anticipated our excavation guy to show Saturday morning. We received a 15 ton load of crushed gravel a few weeks ago and were waiting for dryer times to spread the gravel.

He called the night before and asked me to tear down part of the fence by morning so he could get his small dozer in the corral area.

His morning turned out to be 2 PM. I watched as he scooped out the mud and replaced the mud with a nice layer of crushed blue stone. I hope this will keep us dry this winter.

Meanwhile my buddy Thomas showed up to watch the USA play Europe in the Ryder Cup. It was our plan to fire up the High Definition TV, drink a pile of my home brew beers and watch the US kick butt. We did all that except the kick butt part, Europe at our lunch and carried through on Sunday.

Gosh golf is humbling.

The horses showed up for supper around 6 PM and refused to walk across the crushed gravel. You would think they saw hot coals. I hooked our big boy cotton from Canada up and he bravely followed me, then bucked and slowly walked to his stall. The two girls watched from outside the corral.

Gigi suggested I throw grain in their feed buckets. As soon as I did a stampede ensued.

Gigi has good horse sense.

I bought a pumpkin last week on my trip to Chapel Hill. It is a fine pumpkin and is very large. I guess this would be my 50th pumpkin since I have had one every September of my life. I just love the way pumpkins look, the way they make me feel about fall, and the smell inside takes me back to childhood days of carving a jack-o-lantern.

Gigi makes fantastic pumpkin pies.

I spent the first hour this morning checking and repairing the horse’s electric fence and feeling guilty about not going to church. Gigi and I said we were going to visit a new church but lost the motivation when the time arrived.

So I was thinking about Jesus and him being a carpenter and it dawned on me that there isn’t much wood in the Middle East. How could he and his father be a carpenter in a place where there wasn’t any wood to speak of? Seriously, where did they get wood?

I went online and looked at picture or Nazareth and Galilee and the best I could tell is that they do have bushes and pretty small skinny trees.

Everyone’s house looked like the Flintstones.

Could this be the unmentioned miracle of the Bible? Or was Jesus a furniture maker rather than a carpenter?

I Need You Help Please

I need your help please on buying a new digital camera. Please post a comment if you have a suggestion or question for me.

Right now I have a 5 mega pixel Gateway camera. I hate it. The lens is lousy and images rarely come out good. Daylight pictures are the best but often the skies are washed out looking. It’s about three years old.

I bought this camera on the recommendation of Walter Mossberg who the personal technology columnist in The Wall Street Journal.

I hate reading Consumer Reports and studying other opinions in making a technology decision.

I bought my wife a Nikon camera a few years ago and it is way better than mine.

What I want is something that is close to point and shoot as possible. I want high resolution stills and I would like decent video capability. I think I could/would spend up to $500. Size is not important. Clarity and true color is important.

Any suggestions for me?

Afternoon on the Links

My goodness golf is a humbling endeavor. I shot my worst game of the season yesterday but still managed to have fun.

I swear I have seen all body types play well but I may be the exception. I started golf late in life; I am barrel chested and short. All this makes it difficult for me to make a full fluid swing. A short choppy swing can work if properly harnessed, but you’ll never be as good as the full fluid folks.

Actually lanky women have the most beautiful golf swing. Michelle Wei’s swing is a thing of beauty.

So, my short barrel chested butt hooked up with a CPA buddy of mine and two guys we met from Vermont. They were nice guys and decent golfers. Both guys had moved down to Charlotte to escape the long cold winters. One said that life was too short to stay inside 8 months out of the year.

I am beginning to appreciate our winters more after talking to so many from different latitudes. A miserable winter day here is 38 and rainy. We might get a 4 inch snow or worse and more likely an ice storm. But these storms are rare occurrences.

But all in all it was a good day. It was a little warm but there were good friends to talk to, the bills are paid and it was Friday. Not bad.

The Perfect 10

Today is forecasted to be a perfect 10 for golf. Yes they actually rate and forecast the probabilities for golf conditions every day. I have played in all conditions but rarely hit the perfect 10.

Today I have a 1:10 start time.

Gigi thinks this is silly. Both the start times and the rating scale. I explain the time thing is so each foursome gets 10 minutes to play the hole and the next foursome comes on 10 minutes later. So we play after the 1:00 foursome start and someone behind us will go off at 1:20.

The rating system is useful. Partly cloudy means I won’t have to squint my eyes in the sun watching for the ball. I will not be sweaty or hot and not cold. It’s still early in the fall so leaves will not be an issue. The grass on the greens and fairway are in near perfect conditions. The beer afterwards will be cold and delicious.

I wish other events in your life could be forecasted and rated. If today is rated a 3 for work, stay home. If today is rated a 10 for work, go in early and stay late.

If only life was so simple.

Quiet Time

Last night I met a couple at the club for dinner. They are new clients and I thought it would be fun to meet under friendly and relaxed conditions.

Gigi was running a tad late as usual and I was early as usual.

To kill time I enjoy people watching. At the club everyone is having a good time playing golf, laughing, having drinks, and eating at the lounge.

This one guy was sitting at the bar by himself. He sat down with a well worn cigar box and ordered a beer in the bottle. Then he took out a cigar and slowly lit the stogy with reverent delight.

He quietly sat there oblivious to the other men at the bar. He just silently enjoyed his cigar and beer.

My guests arrived and I was caught up in conversation. Gigi arrived and she looked absolutely beautiful.

I glanced back at the bar and saw the same guy now having a martini and a cigarette. Okay. I guess he was catching up on his tobacco vitamins or something.

Maybe a total of an hour passed and the guy got up, grabbed his cigar box and left with a smile.

I thought it interesting that he was so alone and content in a social club intended for interaction.

Horse's Ass

I’ve been saving this picture a while trying to work it in a blog entry.

One day Sassy, our black Pasafino, was having problems with her back side. Gigi ever fearless around horses goes in to investigate. That is worming paste in her right pocket so she can attach the sweet end of 40 feet of horse gut.

I had already had a few libations when Gigi asked me if I would hold Sassy’s front end while she worked on the back end. I thought it would be neat to capture the moment in a picture.

What I didn’t think about was the flash.

A nanosecond after this picture was taken the horse jumped nearly out of her skin and I got a good lecture from Gigi.

My Father

My father was a wise man. He loved dogs like I do.

One of his favorite sayings was that every man deserved a good woman and a good dog.

He would then pause and say, “I have been doubly blessed. I have had two wonderful dogs.”

My mother never thought it was that funny but it always drew a good laugh.

I have used that line a thousand times.

It’s funny how people who are long gone still live on in the lives of the living.

Day Trip

It was an interesting day.

I was supposed to drive to Chapel Hill and meet with a client at 11:00, then have lunch, then visit my mother in Durham around 2 PM.

Turns out the 11:00 AM pushed the appointment to 1 PM so I met my mother and sister for lunch at my mother’s house.

It was pleasant and fun to see them both. I hadn’t expected to see my sister on this trip.

The visit was brief because I had to run on to Chapel Hill for the one o’clock.

As it turns out I was to attend a Sertoma club lunch meeting as the guest of my client.

Okay, two lunches, I suppose I can pull this off.

The meeting was held at the Chapel Hill Country Club and attendance was modest. I was the youngest person in the room.

There was a table in the corner with a group of really old guys. I heard one arguing and he screamed to the other guy to turn up his damn hearing aid.

There wasn’t a man at that table that didn’t have something plugged into his body. I saw oxygen tubes, hearing aids, and insulin pumps. They were a funny energetic group though.

Trouble In River City

I’m not naming any names or pointing any fingers. If I knew who to blame I would, but…..

I came home from a hard day at the plant and noticed a cartoonish dotted line drawn down the center of our road.

It looked like a real professional with a paint can had been out there.

You think it might be graffiti in Midland?

Maybe the MP3 gang has moved in the neighborhood?

Mr. Potato Man

In all men there is a little potato man waiting to come out. My personal potato man showed up a few years ago and it has been a daily battle keeping him at bay.

Stage one

It starts innocently as Mr. Potato man manifests himself first with the John McCain head. The neck becomes big, jaws puffy and suddenly you have this recognizable big old man potato head. I suffer now from this affliction.

Stage Two

That’s not enough. Now Mr. Potato man wants my body. He strives to have my new head match my body. From the shoulders to the thighs your body starts the progression to the shape of an Irish potato.

Stage Three

If gone unchecked Mr. Potato man attacks your arms and legs. The appendages become drawn and skinny in an effort to enhance Mr. Potato man.

Once you achieve stage three you are too far gone. There is no return.

I have decided to fight Mr. Potato man at the big head and man boob stage and vow not to give up.

Now down to the gym.

Breath of Life

I just had lunch with a friend of mine who is 38. You would think he is 78. His vitality, sight, strength and youth have been stolen by two long bouts of cancer.

He is a survivor for now but knows his time is limited. You see, to kill the cancer they almost killed him many times over. Day to day is a struggle to live with the damage done to his body.

He knows the cancer coming back is a given so he lives life as full as he can.

He told me today he knows for sure there is a God. Only God would make man so special that he could contemplate his own death.

He was a breath of fresh air for me today. I hope I lightened his day too.

Catch Up Sleep

When ever I have visited the west coast my mind is in denial about any jet lag but my body tells the truth.

Yesterday went fine until about 8 PM. I was so tired and sleepy that I gave in early and slept through until 7 AM.

Catch up sleep is so good, so deep, so relaxing. I feel rested and refreshed. Catch up sleep is better than sick sleep. The sleeping part is just as good but I’m not sick and feverish when I wake up which is always a bonus.

No cabs were honking, no drunks yelling, and no buses, just the dark and quiet peace of the country. An occasional border collie would turn circles and plop back down for more sleep.

Ah…I’m ready to tackle the day. That reminds me, who won Monday Night Football?

From The Airport

Hello Mr. Hunnicutt,

Thank you for your email. I apologize for the inconvenience you experienced while visiting CLT. I will forward your comments to airport supervisors. Feel free to contact me if you have additional comments.

Best regards,
Public Affairs
Charlotte Douglas International Airport

Two More Napa Pictures

Justin Hunnicutt Stephens explains his wine while Ty tastes.

Reggie tastes from the barrel.

Email to the Charlotte Airport

Dear Charlotte Airport,

Do you know you have two Long Term II lots?

It would be extremely helpful if you named one lot by one name and the other lot by another name. Maybe Long Term Lot I, Long Term Lot II, Long Term Lot III, etc.

This is just a suggestion so when folks that get off the shuttle on first Long Term Lot II would know where the heck they were. Long Term II lot one, or Long Term II lot two.

I thought I was in the right Long Term Lot II when in reality I had parked at the second Long Term Lot II.

It was hard to tell since my ticket clearly stated Long Term Lot II and the Shuttle was a Long Term lot II Shuttle, and it pulled into the Long Term Lot II. But it was actually Long Term lot II number one.

Simple huh?

Not to worry, the Long Term Lot II Shuttle came back 45 minutes later and took me to Long Term Lot II number II.

Then I rode to the terminal to pick up my wife who had called me and was waiting for an hour for me. As soon as I pulled up one of your law officers told me to leave. I said no I will not, I am picking up my wife. He said he would call the police to remove me.

I said I'm sorry but I am going to pick up my wife.

He said, "Tell her ass to be outside when you pick her up".

Her ass and her whole body was outside.

I exchanged some pleasantries with the cop and I loaded my wife.

No one under any circumstance tells me I cannot pick up my wife when she is clearly standing there. No one.

Meanwhile six Cabs sat there in the loading zone harassment free.

Beam Me Back

Today we’ll spend the entire day hurling our bodies back to the East Coast.

First there is packing at the crack of dawn, then the cab ride to the airport.

Wait, wait, wait, and then off for a 5 hour plane ride. Plus we loose 3 hours of time and bingo the day is done.

I’ll find the car and drive 45 minutes home. 12 hours will elapse just to bring a living organism 3,000 miles home.

They get back from space much faster.

Wine Tasting in Napa

Around 8:30 we picked up the rental mini van and headed across the golden gate bridge towards Napa and wine country.

Our first stop was Oakville Grocery in Oakville. This is such a cool store. They have wine, cheese, breads, olives and olive oil, cured meats, cookies, drinks, and many picnic items.

There are picnic tables in the back and wine barrels in the front where you can sit and enjoy the outdoors and the view of the vineyards.

We continued up to St Helena to visit Justin Hunnicutt Stephens of Hunnicutt Winery. Justine took us back in the wine cave where he had a private setup prepared for us. There he poured some of his pride and joy from previous vintages. Justin is passionate about his wines and it shows.

Then we went and did some barrel samplings from his yet to be release cabernets and zinfandels. Good things are happening in those barrels. They were awesome and should be even better when they mature.

The cabs should command a higher price with the way they taste now. Thank you Justin!

We moseyed down to Beringer Vineyards to taste their reserve wines. I am a member of their reserve club and have enjoyed their wines for years. As always I was not disappointed.

Then off to Franciscan winery to taste their reserves. I have bought their wine before but have never visited their tasting room. They were good but not great.

It seems most commercial wineries are more concerned about selling wines through wine clubs and don’t spend much time talking about the grape variable, the blending, the soil, etc.

Justin Hunnicutt Stephens of Hunnicutt Wines was the exception. We talked grapes, wine barrels, and weather, soil, blending, bottling, marketing, friends, family, corks versus screw caps, and good times. That is what wine is all about.

The last stop was Mondavi wines. Their reserve tasting room was crowded and expensive so we headed to the standard tasting.

As always their wine was decent and dependable. You can buy this wine and know it will not be bad or great.

We drove back to San Francisco and made record time. The bridge was not crowded and the dive back was smooth and uneventful.

San Francisco Morning

Here is morning in downtown San Francisco. We have a great view of the parking deck but can get a glimpse of the Transamerica building from the room.

Today we get a rental car and head to St. Helena and then back towards Napa.

We have adapted well to west coast time and are sleeping in to a normal time here. It will kill me Monday to wake up three hours early to go to work.


Who would have thought that I would be in California when the spinach market collapsed?

The news of the contamination is all the craze here. People are in a panic like the spinach will jump out of the bag and bite them.

Folks, somehow somebody got some dookey germs in the spinach. Throw it away. Don't eat it. End of story.

Work Day

There was a crew working on the street below all night long. Jack hammers and dump trucks droned through the night.

Fortunately I had ear plugs and Gigi was so tired she slept through it.

It’s nice to switch over to west coast time. We slept in three hours longer and didn’t miss a beat.

We ordered room service and had breakfast in bed.

My meetings were long and boring.

Ty and I got a beer afterwards and met the ladies for a dinner on the town.

Tomorrow we hit Napa Valley and I promise lots of pictures.

An Accident Waiting to Happen

We made it to San Francisco after a 1 hour delay and a five hour flight. Everything connected to SF through Charlotte so we had to wait for fogged in planes from the North East to land and connect.

We were assigned seats 8 isles apart but got back together after we had several no shows.

Gigi had a middle seat, a nice old lady had the window, and I had the isle.

After the crappy snacks and coke were served the old lady by the window dumped her diet Coke. Gigi tried to help and she dumped her Coke. I jumped in the isle to escape the mess.

What a mess. We mopped up as much as we could with an airline blanket.

On the ground we checked into the Grand Hyatt at Union Square. We then headed to China Town for lunch.

The hills are hell here. We were all puffed up from flying and our feet were tired.

We ate a great lunch at a local Asian restaurant in China Town.

We called our mean unreasonable house sitter to see if everything was okay back home. She said she had released the hell hounds but everything was fine otherwise.

We walked back to the hotel and stopped by a tiny store for some drinks and snacks for the room. I don’t want to pay $6 for a beer at the mini bar and $3 for a Coke.

As we left I paused outside with the grocery bag in my arms and felt a big hot slap on my head and heard a loud plop.

My party jumped back like a giant turd hit me. Guess what? A giant pigeon turd hit me! I mean a ½ cup of hot pigeon shit spattered on the crown of my head and ran down my back.

Gigi wiped me up as best she could and we headed back for a shower.

Word of the Day


1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.

3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.

If I shovel it out then I should expect to take it too.

On The Move

We are starting to drag down the suitcases for our trip to San Francisco. This makes the dogs nervous.

How should we pack? It’s in the low 50s there now and I know it’s going to be windy. San Francisco is always chilly when I’m there but the charm is worth the chill.

We have the house sitters ready.

We had 15 tons of crush and run gravel delivered yesterday. The guy will be back today to spread it in the corral. We hope to get a solid bed so we can control the mud in the wet winter.

I Screwed Up

Okay….I screwed up.

I have had an office webcam on my website for 5 years. In those five years I have been very careful to close the lens if I am having a private meeting or changing clothes to work out.

Today I screwed up.

I was over in the right corner by the sofa and started changing clothes and realized I did not shut the lens off.

I went tearing over to the camera and shut off the camera with a very red and embarrassed face.

I hope no one saw anything.

Drop Boxes

I hate drop boxes when I fill out forms on the Internet. They are not doing me a favor at all.

First of all, there is a country drop box and it starts with Afganistan. Who in the hell lives in Afganistan that would possibly be ordering anything that off of the Internet?

It takes me two seconds to punch in USA. Instead I have to scroll down through insignificant countries to find USA. Why not just have developed countries if you must have drop boxes?

Then there is the State box. It takes one second to punch in NC. Instead I end up first with ND and no one lives there.

You are not doing us favors web masters by having drop boxes.

Redneck Realization

I just realized why the neighborhood is so quiet of late. Deer season opened about a week ago and that red neck neighbor of mine loves to kill animals.

He shoots his limit every year and packs the carcasses in his freezer.

One year his circuit breaker went off to his freezer in his garage. This went unnoticed for two weeks until the smell of rotten meat got his attention.

Stupid mouth breather.

New Food!

Eating food is a daily passion and struggle to keep weight off. Anytime I find a new food that is wonderful I’ll past it on to you as a public service.

I love oatmeal. I always have.

I prefer the slow cooked method which tastes better to me. I’ll eat the instant stuff in a pinch but it’s really too mushy for me.

So the other day I’m having a mature middle aged conversation with my friend Jim about how I love oats. He asked if I have ever eaten McCann's steel cut oats.

"Why no!" I said, "Tell me more."

He said they come in a tin, they are expensive but they are the real deal.

I bought a tin and cooked up a batch yesterday. Oh my, they are wonderful!

Gigi ate two bowls, Haley ate one bowl and I ate my fill. I am making another batch right now for my prename breakfast.

You must try McCann’s steel cut oats. They are about $6 but are in a league all their own.

Packed For Glory

I'm packed and ready to go. All I have left to do is put on the window flags, ice down the beer and saute the onions for the brats.

My grill s a real charcoal grill. No sissy gas for me.

My cooler has years of signatures and tradition. It proudly sits on the stand to the right of tailgate.

I have a 30 foot tall flag pole that attaches to the front of my truck. Atop of the pole is a 3 by 5 foot Carolina Panther flag.

There is a 3 X 6 folding table for all the food that we will eat.

I found a white jersey this morning. I stuck with number 17 Jake Delhomme our quarterback.

Tomorrow (actually today too) grown men will act like boys. I am so excited.

Thank you Gigi for the freedom.

Trying To Make Up

I got a letter from my refrigerator this week like nothing has happened between us. The letter told me that it needed a new water filter and I should order one now.

Like I care?

I hate my refrigerator. It is a top of the line side by side Kitchen Aid with all the bells and whistles.

First of all it is too big and holds nothing. Most of its bulk is tied up in doors and thick insulated walls. There is very little storage room left over relative to its size.

All of the internal shelving is brittle plastic. And all of this shelving is broken somewhere.

The doors require half the available room of the kitchen to open and they will not fully open.

We had a great refrigerator and we had a great relationship. It would cool and freeze my food and I would give it a nice place to live.

The old refrigerator was so old and reliable that it was gravely out of style. So out of style that Gigi and I foolishly decided to upgrade.

We still regret this decision.

The old almond colored fridge was about 25 years old. It was a Sears Kinmore given to us by my parents as a house warming gift. It cost $600 dollars back then and we couldn't come up with the money if you put a gun to my head.

Ah, but a fond memory.

I'm going to ignore this letter. The tension shall continue.

Opening Weekend

Yesterday was a blur. I have been very at work busy doing ever mounting paperwork. I am afraid to do my normal work because it will only generate more paperwork to do later.

I decided to take the afternoon off and play golf with some friends.

I have felt lousy all week from being sick last weekend. So off to the links for a casual round. Maybe that will make me feel better.

Gigi has been getting her hair done now once a week. It looks really good and she enjoys the time out.

By the time I got home, then Gigi followed it was 7 PM. I was determined that we were going to have dinner so I fired up the grill and put a few potatoes in the oven. Gigi made one of her famous salads.

Around 8 PM we sat down to this big beautiful meal and we were too tired to eat much.

Here it is Saturday morning early and I can't sleep in late because I am so excited about the opening game Sunday with the Carolina Panthers against the Atlanta Falcons.

I have a lot of stuff to get together for tailgating, stuff to buy and cook before hand. The truck needs washing and I must find a white Carolina Panther Jersey for tomorrows opener.

The team starting announcing what color jerseys will be worn for each game and they encourage fans to wear the same. I only have black jerseys except for one Stephen Davis jersey who is no longer on the roster. It's new but I know I'lll catch hell if I wear it. It was too much of a deal not to buy it. Normally the jerseys are $75. This one was marked down to $9.99 when it was clear Davis would be waived from the team from injuries.

Oh the social pressures of tailgating!

Ugly Shoes

I just had lunch with Gigi. She came into town and we walked across the street to a new restaurant called Brio.

To get there we have to cross 3 lanes, a medium, and then 3 more lanes.

Gigi wore her ever fashionable shoes, the ones pictured. I hate them. I think they are ugly as an empty glass of buttermilk. Witch shoes….ugly!

To top off their ugliness she is damn near crippled when she wears them. So here we go taking baby steps about to get hit like a possum all because of these ugly shoes.

She almost fell off her seat at the restaurant when her heel slipped. She was sitting down for goodness sakes.

I dreaded going back after the meal.

We didn’t get hit.

I've Been on The Phone Too Much!

Have I met your expectations today? One scale of one to ten, how would you rate my service today?

All of our staff members are busy helping other customers. Please hold, someone will be with you shortly.

We apologize for the delay. We appreciate your time and patience. Someone will be with you shortly.

This call may be recorded for training proposes.

Press or say one. I’m sorry, I didn’t understand you. Did you say ugh?

I Hired Someone!

Yeah!!!! I made a hire.

She is very competent and very excited and we are excited too.

Help is on the way.

Watch My Words

I guess I’d better watch what I say on this blog.

A nice young lady came in this morning for an interview and she knew everything about me and Gigi, dogs, cats, birds, horses, and hobbies, all from my blog. She had Googled my name and there I was in all my glory.

Ya’ll think I okay right?

Things I’m Learning

Picture two equally qualified people for the same job.

Toss in one set of testicles and it will cost you on average $23,000 more per year to hire and keep the testicular one.

I know for a fact that there is no physical reason that testicles should have such a cost associated with them. Testicles carry their own baggage, ha, ha.

Seriously, I can line up two almost identical resumes with the only difference being a female or male and the male will demand 40% to 50% more.

I guess if you demand more long enough you may find someone that will pay it. The market isn’t tight enough now for me to pay it.

After all I have my own “you know whats.” My wife will be glad to hear that I’m giving myself a raise.

An Ugly Day

A month or so ago Ali wrote that she was having a day that she felt ugly. Today I felt like I looked like William Frawley. This is very ugly for a man.

One you get ugly in your head then it affects your mood.

It’s not that I go by and stare at mirrors all day. You see your reflection in glass windows and doors. I kept thinking, "Who is that old man?"

I hope this will pass soon.


I have read dozens of resumes today.

Some folks are clearly swinging for the fences. If the salary range tops at $40,000 then why would anyone apply and say they have to have $65,000?

With some resumes the BS smell just whiffs right off the computer.

Several folks are proud that they can Google stuff, I’m not kidding.

Monday or Tuesday?

My horse Sassy has allergies and we have a $208 receipt from the vet to prove it. She may be allergic to hay. Great!

I am eating a hearty pouch of tuna and crackers for lunch. Damn this stuff is dry by itself.

Meanwhile I’m setting up appointments from resumes off of

And Back in Black by AC/DC is going on in the head. What’s with all this head banging stuff lately. I’ve been thinking a lot about the first game Sunday and that is just the kind of music they will pipe in the stadium.

Winter Vacation Pressure

I’m getting the St Croix nightmares again. My favorite vacation is five months away and I dream that I sleep through the entire week or just stay in the house and miss everything. I've dreamed this two nights in a row.

When I get down to St Croix I always tend to overdo. Heck I already have stuff scheduled on my calendar like Jump Up Festival, Crab Races, Goat Water Friday, not to mention all the snorkeling, jeep riding, visiting, shopping, bar hopping that I can cram into one week.

Oh the pressure! Relax Reggie, its just a vacation. Enjoy. ITS FIVE MONTHS AWAY YOU IDIOT!

Labor Day

It was a nice day here in Midland, NC. The weather was perfect. It was warm 85 degrees and decent humidity.

I got my chores done which includes grass cutting, and chopping up a fallen tree. I then burned a huge pile of brush that had been collected over the past few weeks from all the thunderstorms.

My mower just reappeared in my driveway Friday with an invoice attached to it. This is the beauty of living in a small community. They know where I live if I don’t send in a check.

The mower blades were brand new and they were sharp as knives. The blades sounded completely different from the bent old blunt ones that were on there. I cut the front and back yard along with the pasture.

The pasture looks good all clean and freshly cut.

Gigi’s dad is going to come up from Georgia and visit with us for a while. He stays over in the guest house and helps Gigi with the horses. He is mid 70s and stays very active. He is 100% Polish and 100% Catholic with all the guilt and baggage of a good Catholic.

I ran an ad this morning on and have already had 8 good resumes. This is amazing. I thank Al Gore every day for the Internet.

It’s been uncomfortably quiet with the redneck neighbors. I assume he got the summons for the littering charge. I have not received a sopeana so I am assuming he may have just paid the fine and backed off…nah, he’s too stubborn for that.


As quick as I got sick then I got well again.

What I did was waste a whole weekend in bed. Monday here is a holiday so I have a day to catch up on yard work.

When you are a member of the over 50 crowd it crosses your mind that you may have a terminal disease every time you get sick.

But I didn’t die so I live to blog again.


I am sick. I rarely get sick.

I slept 20 hours on Saturday.

I’ve had three songs going on over and over in my head. Dude Looks Like a Lady, Crown Him With Many Crowns, and Sweet Emotion.

Right now I’m watching opera on Discovery HD which proves a man will watch anything if its in High Definition TV.

Hopefully my giblets will heal soon and I can get back to myself.
Gigi and I go to the same hairdresser Ashley. She’s a tall nice 23 year old woman. We both like her and she does good work.

We never go to see Ashley together. Today at 10 we will.

I jumped in the shower and Gigi was busy brushing her teeth with the Braun toothbrush.

Gigi said, “I don’t want Ashley to think I stink”.

“We’re old Gigi. We probably smell like urine, Ben-Gay and moth balls to Ashley”, I said.
“You think so?” Gigi asked.

I said, “Tell Ashley its time for you to get your hair done in one of this haircuts that look like Jupiter.”

I have never got that planetary look old ladies do with their hair. It all comes out looking like a gaseous planet.

Friendly Golf

I love golf. I am new to the sport having played my first game two years ago at 48. It’s funny you can call golf a sport where you hit a little ball for four hours and drink beer and laugh.

But golf is part of my man world and I cherish every game. I enjoy and respect the game of golf. I play by the rules.

I play friendly golf. My game has improved but it will never be great. I am not an athletic person and I am completely comfortable with my lot in life so far as golf.

Other folks play competitive golf. Competitive golfers want to be the very best and are sure beyond doubt that everyone wants to be the best golfer possible to the point of tension.

I don’t like tension and am perfectly happy to be a shitty golfer.

Competitive golfers constantly comment on your game and offer father like encouragement. I don’t need encourage. My expectations are low so any good shot is celebrated.

Competitive golfers always try to give you lessons and encourage you to take lessons.

Competitive golfers get agitated at my lack of skills and refinement. They get agitated that I’m not agitated because they would be agitated if they played like I do.

Competitive golfers get mad and moody when their game isn’t good. They can and will throw clubs and fits when their game is off. They get very quiet when they make a bad shot.

Competitive golfers are certain that they are superior to you as a human since they are clearly superior to you as a golfer.

To all the competitive golfers of the world; guys loosen up. Laugh. Enjoy yourself. It’s just a friendly game.

Word Verification

I hate word verification. They make it too damn hard sometimes.

Here I am typing what I thought was a lower case “j” and it was an “I”. So try again.

If you keep missing it gets simpler.


Annuals, perennials, over, under, point spread.

My little pea brain does not and cannot to ever comprehend these concepts without thinking. I wish I knew exactly what these terms were without thinking.

When folks talk about annuals perennials I act like I know which is which. In my head I’m thinking, “Just tell me, do I have to plant the damn thing every year or will it come back? Stop using your fancy scientific terms on me.”

When it comes time to bet on a game I have a fit figuring who is favored. Carolina is give up 3 points and the over-under is 32.

Huh? What the hell? Who is supposed to win? I’m not Jimmy the Greek. Speak plainly to me please.

If you tell me someone takes a holistic approach to anything I immediately start thinking about some rutty faced Native American in an adobe hut with lots of smoke and colored beads with leather and feathers and sad music playing in the background. Sorry. Just say comprehensive or something like that.

Okay, close that drawer and let’s open another.

Gigi forgot her Google password. Until she cracks this code there’s no Gmail or any of the fine services Google provides.

Gigi even wrote her very first blog entry but lo, it can’t be posted.

Okay, back to the holistic thing.

I have been to some Native American resort twice in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Damn Albuquerque is hard to spell. I’d hate to be a little kid in that town and try to fill out a return address on a letter. I would rather live in Flint or Denver.

I’m not sure where this was going but it’s a fact that Albuquerque is hard to spell.
So there, I’m finished for now. I’m sure it will come back to me.