On My Soapbox (Condensed Version)

Back in March I started refinancing my home with Quicken Loans and I got to tell you that the experience has been much like chemotherapy. Even If I do close by Monday the process is just about to kill me.

I started with a conventional loan and we were on a fast track until the appraiser insisted on giving us nothing for our eight acres, improvements, and oh by the way an 1,100 square foot guest home with a kitchen and bathroom.

"Mr. Wreggie, your credit is good but the debt to equity ratio makes it impossible for a conventional loan."

I responded, "No shit Sherlock....give me equity for the stuff standing that you ignore and we can do the deal."

So after 6 weeks or so we decided to go FHA and I locked in a great rate at 4.5% for 15 years. The lock would expire on July 20th. That date was so far in the future that I was confident that nothing could stand in my way.

FHA is different. The federal government assumes I am a damn liar and my home is a rotting piece of shit and I have to prove otherwise. The process has been slow and humiliating.

Quicken discovers a new hurtle about every two weeks. About the time I was changing tires on my exploding RV I discover via a phone call that I must repair some rotten wood around a window and go to the IRS to prove that my business taxes were in fact filed.

I sat in the IRS on three occasions and made on visit out of town to my CPA all because the IRS had yet to put my taxes in electronically. Good that was done and now the rot.

The whole reason I stared this loan was based on the fact I needed to repair the front of my house. I thought I would lock in a low rate and pull some money out to fix this rot. Foolish me.

Today...A contractor is supposed to be here at 8 AM and have this fixed and the paint dry by tomorrow for a liars inspection.

But when Quicken called the home inspector to set a time to verify the repairs the inspector said, "I have company coming to town and will be busy the next few weeks."

I told them I would be happy with a Jew or Muslim that would inspect and close on Sunday if that was more convenient.

Today I wait for a contractor and pray an inspector will come tomorrow afternoon with a closing looming on Monday. If I put any more effort in this it's gonna kill me.

6 comments:

Rock Chef said...

That is horrible! But I guess this is how it is going to be now. No more "You want to borrow X and your house is worth half that? Great, but we want to let you have 2X!"

Hope it all comes out OK in the end.

Micky-T said...

(deep inhale of breadth) ohhh!

It's like they plan to make the last two weeks before closing a nightmare for your nerves.

Good Luck! Hope you make it to get that low rate.

TerryC said...

Great rate! Bummer about the hassles.

That's what it's like all the time trying to do anything in the islands, though.

Hope it all works out for you guys.

I'm waiting to hear from the SBA on a loan application I filed a couple of weeks ago. They were really quick to call me to tell me I needed to fill out another form and explain about my two arrests over 20 years ago for civil disobedience.

Hopefully they will understand that as a good American taxpayer, I was morally obligated to stand up for the rights of those less fortunate than I, to protest injustice in our great land, and ....... (hahaha - I kill myself sometimes).....

Wreggie said...

"two arrests over 20 years ago for civil disobedience"

You? Atta girl.

Wreggie said...

The contractors showed up and Gigi just emailed me from her iPhone and it looks half done so far.

The little lady got her mind right and she is coming to look at the repair tomorrow afternoon.

Quicken emailed and said this is looking good for a last minute close.

Jay Gray said...

You need a vacation!