New Tailgate Menu Items and an Open Letter to the Carolina Panthers

New this year to the tailgate menu will be an optional fried egg on all hamburgers. I swear it is delicious. Just flop it on up there with a soft yoke and enjoy.  Farm fresh eggs will be provided by me.  

Also I will definitely be spinning some chickens via the Weber Rotisserie. I think I can fit three small hens on one stick.  They come roasted to perfection in about 90 minutes plus rest time. Red potatoes will be the side. 

The Panthers will apparently be horrible this year having after seeing the toughest schedule in the league announced a week ago and obviously by the opinion of the NFL for giving us all 1PM start times. 

And so with season still months away I would like to offer some basic tweaks to what happens inside the bowl of Bank of America Stadium. Management….you need to step up the NFL experience. If the game is going to be bad then you need to step up the entertainment. 

Please put the Carolina Panther logo in the center of the playing field. This is our house, not the NFL’s house. Ditch the NFL logo centerfield. 

Document our achievements inside the bowl. Put up some banners proclaiming we have been good in the past with conference and division championships. Fly them proudly.

For Gods sake do something better when we score. How about some fireworks? Get rid of the sissy guys with the flags running across the field.    

Retire the cartoon Sir Purr mascot. This isn’t Six Flags or Disney Land and it is embarrassing.  

Allow patrons to remove their shirts and paint their chests. Seriously. 

Please get some new music during time outs. Report league scores while you advertise on the HD screens.

Boost 3G coverage in the bowl so we can check scores ourselves in the bowl.  

Let the top cats cheerleaders be a little sexier. Please. 

Get a new PA announcer. Get a new play by play guy on the radio. They are both milk toast. 

Take a chance and hire a bad guy. It sells seats. Draft Cam Newton. 

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2 comments:

Rock Chef said...

Egg on a burger is great.

I think the Top Cats need a new name too - is it just me that is thinking of an old cartoon series here?

Guys with flags when you score? No heavy metal guitar riffs and lights?

I hope you send your list to the powers that be...

Micky-T said...

You do make it sound like those Panthers are being treated like little pussy cats.
Keep roaring wReg, maybe someone will hear you, or they'll put a bowl of milk out for you.