Gender Translator…Please

I read as many blogs written by women as I do men. In fact, the female bloogers I read outnumber the male bloggers.

I seldom comment on many blogs I read because while I enjoy the read, their life style and blog content is so different from my life that my only comment would be that, “I am here and reading your blog.”

But what gets me about female blogs is how they can go from straight forward rational thoughts, and then suddenly belt out a post of pure unfiltered girl talk. Suddenly it’s like they are speaking a foreign language.

To further complicate the issue I then witness countless female comments that understood every nuance of what gobbledy goop they just wrote. WTF?

“Oh girlfriend, I am so sorry. Things will get better. Bla, bla, bla.” I have no ideas about what they just wrote and yet all these other women did.

What would be fantastic is if Google or someone offered a universal translator for blogs. It could translate language and gender.

The gender part would be the most important. I understand English but not always female English.

Heck, a gender translator would be helpful around the house too.

Suppose Gigi tells me something that makes no sense what so ever but I detect that it should make sense. Rather than scoffing it off and starting an unsuspecting argument, I could excuse myself in a caring and concerned way, type in her words to the gender translator, and come back with a suggested comforting answer.

Google, please give this some thought.

13 comments:

Jay Gray said...

There is no way anyone (even a computer) could translate a lot of women's thoughts. I think you would type in what a woman says and Google would actually spit back "Gobbily Goop" as the translation.

I forget the numbers but woman speak like 10 times more than men per day. They just like to hear themselves talk whether it makes sense or not.

Dave Chapelle does a great bit on the differences between men and women. Check this out. (WARNING: Adult Language)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZRflz-93JA

Jay Gray said...

At least jump to the 5:55 mark to relate to your blog.

Judy said...

I don't know what you are talking about!

liv said...

As the queen of murk (deemed so by you) I'll just say that my ambiguous writing style is done so in order to shield others from pain. I'm okay with letting my peeps know I hurt, but it would seem unfair to link up to the person who hurt me if I wrote it in a way that you Y chromosome people could get. Sorry, kiddo.

Reggie said...

I read that word for word and barely got it. Thank you.

So you intend to shut out men and just send us chasing our tail? Am I not a peep?

terri said...

This sounds like a challenge. I will work on creating a dictionary of woman-speak for you.

Jay said...

The problem with getting a gender translator is that it would have to be a woman who built it cause they are the only ones who know what each other is saying and women don't want that translated for men.

Reggie said...

Women seem also to enjoy reliving terrible moments in their lives with other women.

I have observed this as the prime subject of most girly telephone conversations.

Judy said...

You are right about that (women reliving bad things with each other). Seems to help somehow.

Jahooni said...

What is this shit all about???

Are you serious? Does Gigi know that you did this?

I really liked you Reggie but my feelings are hurt and I must go cry a river... thanks for making my day not so great, I mean really what did we ever do to you? Do you really feel this way?

I need a hug.

you better visit me more and have something to say for yourself!!!!!!

Reggie said...

Oh you are usually straight up with your blog Jahooni.

But you could turn girly on me at any moment.

Jahooni said...

still crying...... Box of Kleenex almost gone. and I have a cold... and well.

Hammer said...

Hell, part of the time I don't even know if the blog author is male or female. :)