Redneck Luck

Rednecks always seem to be down on their luck. They are always broke, usually a lot of drama, a chronic illness, and always a broken down car about to be repossessed.

My lawn tractor died just yesterday. Oh it can be fixed, but it is just a pain in the ass (figuratively). Riding it was a pain in the ass literally, but I did it slow and easy until the belt came off. I decided to call it quits and have John Deer come out, pick it up and service the whole thing and return it as good as new in a week or so.

My transmission on my truck went out as you recall. $3800 later I have what is for me a new ride ready for another 300,000 miles. When I got in the truck the battery was dead as Ned's Ass. I felt so redneck. I managed to haul out the generator with a 12 volt trickle charger and got it started.

Upon a visit to Autozone to test the battery it was discovered that the connectors were very dirty. He took mercy on the old man with the cane and cleaned it up so the battery works just fine.

I am spending a decent time in bed which is where I should be. Occasionally I drift off to a pleasant nap. Yesterday I rolled over on my beloved iPad and cracked the screen. Another reinforcing redneck moment.

I did have an old screen protector (too late) that came with an old Otterbox case. The cracks are very fine but still in place. I applied the screen protector to decrease the likelihood that the glass will splinter. So for now the iPad is flawed cosmetically and noting more. Still, it is like a facial scar on a pretty woman.

And I am still chronically a redneck should be.

Fortunately I am not broke.

Hopefully on Monday I can get this surgery scheduled and get on with my healing.


Unknown said...

Take pills and stay in bed ol buddy.....think wings"""""""

Ken said...

Hire a local redneck for your chores and stay down.....I could dig up a few old picture books from our antique library, a little musty smelling but they might learn ya sum'n.