Copperheads and Flaming Pussy

Sometimes you just get a feeling and you act on that feeling alone.

And so it was I had a feeling that if I didn’t get some yard work done that Gigi would be all over me soon for lack of doing man work around the house.

I took the day off to get some high impact yard work done. You know guys, stuff the Mrs. has been bitching about for years and you’ve been putting off for years. When you finally do the dreaded chore it is richly loaded in brownie points to the effect that I could get away with murder.

I decide to get rid of a bunch of metal that had accumulated over a few years like a water tank when the well was redone and a heavy as hell pump that went along. In addition I had a grown over pile of rolled up fence wire that alone would fill my pickup.

I had this feeling though that where I was about to work I would encounter a copperhead or two so I took out the shotgun just in case. Two people were bitten by copperhead snakes in Charlotte last week.

Finally I asked Gigi if I could get rid of all that change in the garage and if there was enough I would go by a big screen TV.

Except for a few scratches on the wire the work went uneventfully and I got $648.11 from the change. Isn’t it funny that I got back change for the change I just cashed in?

I rushed to Sam’s Club and bought a 47” LCD HDTV with 1080P. Yes I added an additional $799 but the way I see it is the TV cost me $799 because the rest of the money was rotting away in the garage.

On the way home I got a call from Peach Pod saying the she and Peach Pit would be stopping over for the evening.

I set up the TV and I swear the picture is better than real life. Unbelievable clarity and color to the point I was watching mice run on a treadmill on Discovery TV and Gigi pointed out that I would watch anything as long as it was on this new TV.

Gigi and I picked up the house a bit, ordered some pizza and lit a few candles in preparation for our guests. Gigi turned to me and asked if I would put up the horses and I obliged since this chore is also loaded with brownie points.

I walked up to see a big adult copperhead slither under the feed can. I ran back for the shotgun and Gigi was following. The snake continued out the other side where he met his death with a big blast.

I knew it; I could feel the bastards nearby. The shotgun is out for the next few weeks.

Our guests arrived just in time for the pizza delivery.
Our cat Millie jumped up on the coffee table where she would have a better shot at pizza and managed to saunter pass a lit candle where her tail became a cat torch. It burned out soon and I think she is okay.

I watch a little more clear TV and called it a day.

7 comments:

Jay said...

I have TV envy. I'm gonna have to get me a big LCD HDTV pretty soon. Football season starts back up in a month or so.

I hate snakes. The only good snake is a dead snake.

Chris said...

I would love to sit around and shoot the snakes with you sometime.

Throw in a cooler full of beer, and we're in business...

Micky-T said...

I want to shoot snakes too.
With the work I've done around this old property I'm surprised I haven't encounterd a copperhead, plenty of big garders though.

We went wimpy and cheap with a
26" LCD HDTV Still could possibly fit on a boat.

Michael said...

We saw an interesting statistic today. Apparently, we're among the 20% of Americans who have not yet upgraded their TVs to the new HDTV standard mandated for Feb. or something, next year.

We're holding out 'til we're down to at least the last 1%, then we'll think about it.

BTW, I'm amazed your titillating and Terry-baiting title hasn't "aroused" more commentary. Maybe the women are boycotting this post. ;)

Reggie said...

Actually the federal mandate says that all stations should cease analog broadcasts next Feb and begin digital broadcasts. You must purchase a converter box for your old "over the air" TV to work because it will not see digital.

You can get a free voucher for a new box on some federal site.

I guess the title had strictly guy appeal.

mr zig said...

yeah - count me in for the next snake shoot! Here there is nothing to shoot at - mostly because I live in on a nice quiet suburban street, and if I did fire my shotgun I might be in some trouble! hehe

Anonymous said...

had a girl named copperheadd; what a big headed pussy/ if u got lonley ; it would talk to you and point to the banna; pooor clit; love frd the shrimper