Field of Dreams

For most of last night I kept dreaming I was playing softball on the most beautiful field overlooking some cliffs that dropped off to the ocean.

The weather was perfect, the women were beautiful and yes, all the guys looked like models. What I was doing out there is anyone’s guess.

I never play softball, I never did play softball unless forced to play in school. A spherical ball that isn’t very soft hurling at me at incalculable speeds forcing me to react quickly (stressful) to avoid a collision (forget about catching it) is not my idea of fun.

Last night I was playing short stop. I counted five line drives directly at me and all five times I caught the ball bare handed.

Basketball in real life was very similar for me except the ball was bigger and softer. I remember quite a few times someone going to the basket and seeing me open (who would bother to guard me) and at the last minute they would dump off the ball to me only for the ball to hit me in the forehead or chest as it went out of bounds.

Finesse is not an attribute of mine.

Football was my game until I stopped growing vertical somewhere around 12 or 13. A lineman can only go so far in football at 5’ 7’ish, give or take a half.

Anyhow I woke up all refreshed at my accomplishments from last night. Does that count as my workout today?


Kuckie said...

It definitely counts in my book! But then, I also prefer to think of ice cream as a health food, so take it with a grain of salt! LOL!

Ali said...

Sounds like a good workout to me :)

I remember playing badminton in gym in high school. Oh man, Monica and I would always be partners, and since neither of us is very coordinated, most of the game would be spent doubled over laughing at each other.

We would always be covered with welts by the end from getting hit with the birdie...ah, good times.

Jay said...

Big time workout dude! Well done.

When I played slow pitch softball I played right field. Since almost all the hitters on the other teams were right handed I only got 3 or 4 balls hit to me the whole season. I caught at least half of them though.

I tried fast pitch for one game. Struck out 4 times. End of career.

Unknown said...

From one of my favorite comedians, Brian Regan:

I played softball this last year. I struck out in slow-pitch softball. Let me tell ya somethin', there's not a whole lot more humbling in life than striking out in slow pitch. Walk back to the dugout, y'know, and your teammates are older than little league.they try not to laugh, but it's kinda hard not to. You sit next to them, and they're goin' "hehehe." What can they say? "Wow. Ah, he throws a wicked twelve foot arc. It's hard to hit in only three tries. It should be a bigger ball.should be a kickball! We should play ten-strike kickball! Y'know? Tha-That's what it is." They call it SOFT-ball. Makes it sound like it harmless, y'know. You ever take a line drive shot to the face with a softball? You don't go, "Hey! That's downy soft! That was like a big ball of cotton! Hey, don't worry about that.that's blood light! We're playin' softball! We're all gonna float around like angels!"

Anonymous said...

I've golfed on a course that is familiar to the softball field you described. The fifth hole has a stunning view of Lake Superior. You'd like that course. If you're ever in Bayfield, WI you should golf at the Apostle Highlands.