I’m going to call Bullshit on something that happens this time of year.

We have a local drive every fall called “school tools” in which the goal is to collect paper and pencils for students that can’t afford paper and pencils.

The premise is that every basic need in their young lives has been met except when it comes to paper and pencils. Without free paper and pencils the young student’s mind will not function. The final assumption is these paperless children are so eager to fill their minds with the fantastic knowledge that our public schools will dispense in just a few weeks but they can’t learn without paper and pencils which they can’t afford.

You see the crescendo building here. We have a deadline. We have children, the future our society longing for pencils and eager to learn.

I just checked with Office Max online and found that I could buy a box of 36 #2 pencils for $1.99. I was shocked how cheap they are. For $1.99 I could effectively supply one over crowded classroom of eager students will to learn. A whole classroom for $1.99!

I remember when I was in school a pencil was a free ticket to get up out of my chair and walk up to the pencil sharpener. I would take my time drinking in the freedom. Then I would poke the sharp point at my buddies and the way back to my desk. Next I would bite my pencil and look at the marks my teeth made in the wood. No telling how much paint lead I ingested.

But one can’t learn on pencils alone. You must have very expensive paper for the young mind to drink up knowledge. Paper must be out of site in price if all these kids can’t afford it, right?

Let’s see. At Office Max I see that I can buy two college rule spiral notebooks for .79 cents. Damn I am surprised how cheap that is.

I used to write on both sides of my paper in a spiral notebook. I liked the way it made the paper crinkle when I turned the page.

So bottom line a pencil costs 6 cents and a spiral notebook costs 40 cents.

Oh I know kids need other things for school like cell phones, flat brimmed caps, hooded sweat shirts, baggy pants, and new shoes. How can they expect to come up with 46 cents for school?



Jay said...

And after you got finished sharpening that pencil, poking your friends and then chewing on said pencil you could throw it straight up and stick it in the ceiling. Then when the teacher pulled it out a nice little dusting of asbestos would come floating down over your desk and get in your hair and all that great stuff.

mr zig said...

hehe - that was awesome -

Alyssa said...

Sooooo good. :) Love it.

Ali said...

Nice call. Bullshit indeed.

Anonymous said...

I have to admit I agree. When we were struggling to pay tuition for our 3 kids to go to Catholic grade school, there were always the families who qualified for free lunches, who had another family "adopt" them and buy their back packs and school supplies. While I was out trying to find a way to put shoes on my kids feet, those same "poor" kids showed up with top of the line shoes.

I know it's not the kids' fault, but it always irritated me that the parents could buy name brand clothing but couldn't afford to feed their kids. Strange priorities, I guess.

Logzie said...

I hear ya! But serioulsy Reggie, we MUST get the important things first...cell phones, video games, $200/pair shoes and THEN we can get the "extras" like pencils and paper! Geeze!!

mr zig said...

I just read this again, and I know I already posted - but yeah - once again - GREAT POST! haha