Why did the chicken cross the road?

Not bad. This is from my friend Charlie Travis in Blowing Rock, NC.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
change! The chicken wanted change! 

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road. 

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
me. 

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here. 

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? 

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. 

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. 
What is your definition of crossing? 

AL GORE: I invented the chicken. 

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. 

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens. 

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before
it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
current problems before adding new problems. 

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. 

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
road. 

NANCY GRACE, CNN LEGAL COMMENTATOR: That chicken crossed the road
because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. 

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. 

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No li ttle bird gave me any
insider information. 

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told. 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone. 

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. 

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. 

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace. 

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. 
This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot. 

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken? 

2 comments:

MELackey said...

What chicken? I ain't seen no chickens 'round here. (distinctive sound of something frying in the background)

bonnieluria said...

Actually McCain reached " across the aisle " in the supermarket, grabbed the chicken and gave it to Appaulin'
( my own editorial comment ) to field dress.

Everyone has an opinion, no?
And my opinion is that I really like your new blog format. Much easier on the eyes and good looking too.