Tree Sex and Ball Games

My property is a quagmire from so much rain and more rain is to come today. I think Sassy is so sick of the bad weather that she would spill her bowels if she could find a sharp object and had opposable thumbs.

Oh…and I have a sick chicken in my bath tub. Her name is Ashley and she is the youngest hen. Gigi is in full doctoring mode and has been reading up on chickens. She was opposed to me getting chickens and now she wants a bigger coop.

I am trying so hard to enjoy college basketball but it just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I was happy for my nephew that Duke won the ACC tournament and I watched the whole game. But afterwards, I felt unfulfilled and switched over to golf.

It annoys me when someone refers to a sporting event as a “ball game”.

“Is there a ball game on tonight?” my FIL will ask.

“Why sure, there’s bowling on ESPN89, or ping pong on ESPN Classic 76, or basketball on ESPN 2, golf on the Golf channel, football on the NFL channel. What kind of ball are you referring to?”

We have been warned that as soon as this rain stops we’d better be prepared for massive tree sex. Our city is ranked third in the nation for pollen and the yellow clouds are just days away.

Can you tell I’m a bit grouchy this morning?

10 comments:

MELackey said...

our trees have been in full-on fornication mode for the last 2 weeks.

We finally got some rain last week to wash away all of the yellow dust. For the first couple of hours, the water running along the curb along the way to the gutter was this funny looking yellow color.

Jay said...

When I was growing up, in my family "ball game" meant baseball. Specifically the Cardinals. Any other sport was called by it's name, but baseball was always "ball game."

I watched a lot of basketball this weekend too. But, I found myself easily distracted from the games and a bit bored with them.

Hope said...

We have had four days straight of rain and cold, but it's funny you should mention the trees, becasuet hat was the only thing pretty to look at was the tiny buds of spring green dotting the trees. Other than that is has been so GRAY! Blech.

CarmenSinCity said...

It's Monday - you are allowed to be grouchy!!

terri said...

My property is a quagmire too, from all the melting snow. I'm not grouchy because I am SO glad to see all the snow GONE. Of course, I can't really complain. I don't have a chicken in my bathtub.

Chris said...

Just wondering as to how you came up with your hen's names.

When I hear "ball game", I think about baseball too.
I never refer to football as the ball game.

P.S. I'll trade you Peppers for Cutler. They're both whiny bitches.

Chief Rock Chef said...

Ball Game is not really used over here - Footie, Rugga, etc are more common...

Tree sex? Now here was I thinking that this was tree hugging taken to "the next level"!

Hope the sick chicken is OK!

Hammer said...

It's not how you play the game..it's the size of the balls.

Insatiable Kate said...
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