Code Red....Severe Vacation Alert!

Today we went to a Severe Vacation Alert meaning vacation is imminent or the threat of vacation is unavoidable.

The following actions are taken during a Severe Vacation Alert:

Announce Threat Condition SEVERE and explain expected actions.

Deploy suitcases based on threat assessments. Find the passports in case of an emergency land in the BVI.

Find some money to spend preferably big wads of folding money.

Cut the grass at the optimal time to assure the house doesn’t look haunted when I get back.

Tell a few trusted neighbors you are leaving and tell them you have a house sitter.

Activate Operations Center on the PC and pay all bills.

Maintain close contact with my best clients and tell them I am taking a well deserved vacation “out of the country”.

Be prepared to implement mutual aid agreements with other neighbors and if you need help while out of town. The classic thunderstorm and a fallen tree can wreak havoc 2,000 miles away.

Stockpile dog food, hay and horse grain and fill the stalls with shavings.

Check the well filters.

Act like we actually live civilized and vacuum very well and clean the bathrooms.

Get back waxed and trim nose hairs.

Try and figure out what I can do for a four hour layover in Miami that doesn’t involve spending a lot of money or drinking…..

1 comments:

IEAT_SNOWMANPOOP said...

I wonder if I can use that excuse at my job... probably still wouldn't work.