Vomit


No, no one here is sick. This is the tale of one cat inspired vomit story that has worked its way into family lore.

If you own a cat, you know that cats will tend to eat and purge, or expel (vomit) accumulated hair from self cleansing of their body. The hairball comes rather dramatically with lots of fan fare, noise, heaving to produce a small rodent looking newborn. It is really gross.

Once day, many Christmases ago, we had Gigi’s family over, that included her brother Pat, the only family hippie, and his wiener dog Shaft.

After their arrival our cat Millie yacked up a record hairball, and the expulsion had gone unnoticed in the holiday confusion.

To make the origin of the story even more mysterious, Shaft had apparently disposed of the hairball the dogs can do.  

We were all in the kitchen carrying on the way families can do when all of the sudden Shaft runs into the kitchen and begins this almost possessed looking drama that leads to an epic vomit. Pat was really worried and he knelt down to help his little buddy when Shaft hurled what looked like a wet kitten up on the kitchen floor with a silent audience watching in horror.

Immediately Pat concluded that Shaft had indeed just given birth to an alien baby, (not sure what substances he had ingested) and Pat ran suddenly to the kitchen sink and began vomiting publically.

I started laughing hysterically at his conclusion and the drama we had all just witnessed.

Pat was shaking his head with watery eyes certain that we had just witnessed a demonic birth.

Gigi recognized it as a recycled hairball and I fell out laughing.     

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4 comments:

Ken said...

Now that, is as good as any shit story from the annals of Always Mentally on Vacation.

Phfrankie Bondo said...

I enjoy the occasional hairball/vomit/alien birth saga.

terri said...

I want to say "eew" but as a cat and dog person, I can fully appreciate the humor in this story!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...and I WILL someday have a weiner dog named Shaft....