Home Again

Philadelphia was a very stuffy place.


My room didn’t have a window to open and the AC had some sort of governor on it.  This prevented me from getting the temperature below a stagnate upper 70’s temperature.


I like warm weather but I hate to be stuffy. Give me 80’s and 90’s but with a breeze or a fan nearby.


I used the men’s room outside of the conference room once and I swear it was a sweatbox. To top it off….it had one of those automatic flushers so I wasn’t able give a courtesy flush unless I waved my butt around or acted like I was finished so the flusher would set off.


Outside wasn’t much better. The summer humidity had set in so a brisk walk brought on massive sweat.    


The airport personnel were very grouchy.  In Philadelphia the TSA screams to everyone to throw your shoes on the belt. I had no idea what belt they were talking about so I tossed my shoes in the gray plastic bin to be scanned like I do at every city in America and all foreign destinations. You would have thought I caused WWII.




Finally I realized they wanted me to actually toss my shoes in the scanner which I did.


One poor guy was instructed to toss his belt directly in the scanner. He did and it got stuck in the mechanism. He was then yelled at for doing this and was told by another person that he should have used the gray bin.


I defended him because I heard the hateful woman yell the instructions to him.


I would have loved to liver punched just one of them.


Finally we load up at the very end of the “B” concourse for Charlotte.  There is a big plane and it is running very late and every seat is full. Most of the passengers have connections in Charlotte so everyone is eager to board.


Here comes Mr. Asshole in one of those limo golf carts with an old lady on oxygen. He starts yelling at everyone to move.


There is no where further you can go Mr. Asshole because it is the end of the concourse and we are trying to board a plane.


He jumps off the cart and begins to wave his arms and bark orders. Then he pulls up 6 more feet to put the woman in a wheelchair.


Gosh I would have loved to deliver just one crushing throat punch but I’m an easy going fellow.


Then 200 passengers begin to board through one tiny door and the crew is having a fit that it is taking the usual time to board the plane. The reason one boards the plane 30 minutes in advance is it takes 30 minutes to board and get settled. 


Anonymous said...

My husband doesn't have anything good to say about Philadelphia either from his travels. That sounded miserable.

Ken said...

I think the shoe deal at the airports is the closest that I have ever felt like being just herded cattle. 85 year old women having to take off their shoes in this great country of ours because they "might" have a fricken shoe bomb. Thank you Dick Cheny! WTF

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

Most definitely Dick Chaney and Halliburton with undertones of Sarah Palin and nuances of Ronald Reagan.

They all did it to me. I heard it on late night talk radio.

Where is my tin foil hat?

Anonymous said...

I've been to the Phili airport. Miserable place. And the people are miserable too. So angry... all the time angry. One on one they can be nice if you are buying one of their cheese steaks.

But they are angry people.

Ken said...

Wreggie, I hope you have a better idea of me to know that I would never wear a tin foil hat(not that you suggested that I did, you suggested that you did!).
But I must ask..........
Do you like taking off your shoes at an airport? Do you feel more comfortable knowing that everyone has taken off their shoes, even grandma, before you board a plane flying in this great country of ours? Just saying!

none said...

Airport personnel are out of control especially the govt employees. Part of me wishes the whole system go tits up so these idiots will be out of a job.

terri said...

I'm proud of you for refraining from punching anyone. I imagine it took a huge amount of restraint.

MELackey said...

try travelling with 2 kids, one of which is an infant, a carseat, a laptop, a stroller, and whatever the helly else we had with us flying to LAX in February. What is worse is that they direct families with children to one particular line, then they send seasoned business travelers into the same line.

You have to take the infant out of the carrier and send the infant seat through. Stroller has to fold up and go through also. All the shit in the bin under the stroller also has to go in a tub and go through. All shoes and belts off, even the booties on the infant. I guess we could pack a serious shoe bomb in a baby's shoe...

Next time, we drive...

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

Oh no Micky…the tin foil hat is mine.

Too many idiots to blame for me to single out the old go to guy.

Unknown said...

Don't you love the north?

matshorts said...

Oh man our airport is a joke. Guaranteed delay in and out of the airport.

Sorry to hear it was a miserable time, but the city I have to say is awesome. Probably not the best to visit on a business trip, but worth a trip for a long enjoyable weekend. Next time you are here holla.. and we can grab some amazing food.