My Computer Just Told Me I am a Lard Ass

I just started doing one of those life expectancy calculators online where they ask a bunch of lifestyle questions and then calculate your life expectancy.

The first thing was a question about my age, weight, height, and then this body mass calculator pops up. Things turned ugly.

“Okay Mr. Fat Shit….I assume you are gasping for air Mr. Tubbo.”

What? I have a BMI of 26! A BMI over 25 for a man my age is a fat turd.

I need to grown an inch or loose 10 pounds. I don’t know which is easier.

I didn’t bother with the rest of the questionnaire.

Damn computer.

7 comments:

Judy said...

That part about not knowing which was easier to grow an inch or lose 10 lbs. was funny! I feel the same way. I wish I could do one or the other.
You are NOT a Lard ass!

Doc said...

Hey, its a good excuse to excercise (golf) more!

Jay said...

See something like that would just upset me and I would have to sit down and drink a six-pack and eat some Doritos. LOL

Jahooni said...

i think it's all those extra calories that you assume over at that island of your...

Hammer said...

I stopped taking those tests, they tell me I should have died 10 years ago.

terri said...

Nothing a little golfing, snorkeling and vacationing won't cure.

p.s. thanks for the comment you left me today. It helped put things in perspective.

Jay Gray said...

Those things are a load of BS!

Now I am not skinny by any means and I could certainly stand to lose 15 pounds but if I get on one of those electronic scales outside GNC it tells me I am 50 pounds overweight!!!! If I lost 50 pounds I'd look like Kate Moss!!