Tis the Day to be Jolly.....

I am ready for some football….a Monday Night 

Party!

Today I drag out Gargantuia the 5th wheel and proceed to downtown Charlotte with the tailgate plans. I spent most of yesterday washing the gigantic beast from its long stay on the coast of North Carolina.

Today I’ll load it up with good tailgate things and head downtown mid afternoon.

What kills me is everyone’s fear that they are going to be a victim of crime tonight. My buddy Bruce was supposed to stay in town tonight with me in the RV but expressed his fear yesterday that not only was he afraid for his life, but he didn’t even want to leave his car downtown overnight.

Now think this out Bruce. You will be in an RV with only one source of entry and it will be locked. The owner (me) packs heat. I have a .38 nearby the bed and a .22 on my person always unless it is unlawful to carry. The town will be crawling with police and people until 2 to 3 AM. You have a better change of being a victim driving home 2 hours with 70,000 drunks on the road. That is the reason we decided to stay over in the RV…remember?

Jeeze, and I have already paid $75 to park the beast.

Never again do I want to hear someone ask me, “Do you feel safe at night on the island of St Croix?”

I’ll answer, “Do you feel safe walking around downtown Atlanta, Baltimore, Charlotte, Dallas, Jacksonville, etc. at night?”

Damn man, what does a thief want from a 52 year old man wearing a football jersey that smells like brats surrounded by like gentlemen?

What a wussy. Where is your sense of adventure man? 

Go get some new tennis balls for your walker. I'm not ready to crawl in the hole of fear to sights imagined and unseen.

8 comments:

Kuckie said...

Get some new tennis balls for your walker??? HILARIOUS!!!!

Jay Gray said...

Yeah nights like tonight are actually probably the safest in Charlotte. Too funny.

Did you feel safe walking around Baltimore at night? :)

Chris said...

Hell, with that kind of firepower, I'd sleep with the door unlocked - and open - with my wallet hanging out of my pocket - and jewelry strung out everywhere.

Jay said...

I'm rooting for Carolina to whip Tampa tonight, but they need to do it without their kicker. I have a three point lead in my fantasy football game, but my opponent has Tampa tight end Jeremy Stevens and the Carolina kicker.

So, I need Stevens and Kasay to each tweek a hammy to right at the start of the game and be out the rest of the night.

Carolina is free to score as often as they like after that. ;-)

MELackey said...

his wife probably changed her mind and wouldn't let him stay...

I wouldn't worry about my safety, but if you have a generator, you might want to put an extra chain on it and lock up the gas can. I'm sure there will be opportunists ready ot carry off anything that's easy to carry off...

MELackey said...

if I was in the area, I'd stay with you. If I'm wearing pants, I generally have a .38 in my pocket. I sleep with a .40 nearby...

Ali said...

Ah Wreggie.

Packing heat and funnier than most of the people I know :)

CarmenSinCity said...

What a total wuss! I totally agree with you. He needs to grow some! Have fun tonight! Go Panthers!