Hot in July? Say it Ain't So!

One fairly common complaint I hear about Jekyll Island this time of year is that it is hot.

Just a minute…let me check my calendar…yes it the 5^th of July in the Northern Hemisphere.

It is hot everywhere. It is hot in Chicago, Manitoba, New York, Raleigh; you name it except for San Diego and San Francisco. And the west coast is too damn far to go to for an RV trip of one week.

I just heard a lady say that next year she wanted to go to Kentucky where in her made up imaginary mind the weather is cool in July. Dear lady it will be hot as hell plus you’ll have the aroma of horse crap to contend with while you sip your bourbon the next 4^th of July amongst the cool blades of bluegrass.

The reality is that most of us sit our spoiled butts in the air conditioned comfort of our house and car and then we are suddenly exposed to the harsh climate of earth for a week while we camp.

Yes it is hot, salty, sandy, sweaty, and my muscles are sore from all the activity. I’ll enjoy it while I can.

Sorry Cedie...it Has Come to This

stub·born

–adjective

1.unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving: a stubborn child.
2.fixed or set in purpose or opinion; resolute: a stubborn opponent of foreign aid.
3.obstinately maintained, as a course of action: a stubborn resistance.
4.difficult to manage or suppress: a stubborn horse; a stubborn pain.
5.hard, tough, or stiff, as stone or wood; difficult to shape or work.

Cedie is stubborn as a two headed mule.

My Favorite Holiday is Here!

Our little home away from home.

Shanty town at its peak.

Old guy going to talk to the hot chick's boyfriend about bikes......right.

Welcome to the 4^th of July at Jekyll Island, GA. The campground looks like a FEMA camp after a disastrous hurricane.

RVs of every type are in every slot available. Old people are sitting under their awnings drinking coffee and bacon and sausage smells are heavy in the air. Children are playing in the dirt streets completely safe from harm.

I have noticed this year a complete absence of mosquitoes. Jekyll is known for their world class mosquitoes but as of yet I have not even seen one of the varmints.

A few doors down a hot biker chick in her 30s is with some guy in his 50’s. Every guy my age has walked by and started a conversation hoping for a few stolen glances at his girlfriend and think, “How the hell did this old fart get this woman?” I know, I talked to the guy myself just this morning.

Yesterday I spent 6 and ½ hours on the water. I ended up shuttling Liv and her adorable jitterbugs around the St Simons Sound and took my nephew monkey boy over to Jekyll and back to St Simons Island.

Each trip I learn more and more about boating. Around these waters you cannot assume that water is deep enough to travel. There are many places here that water is only 12 inches deep but is so murky that it looks like deep water. I stick to the channels especially during low tide.

I'm a Salty Dog

Please call me Wreggie Magellan. Today I took Origami II and circumnavigated Jekyll Island, Ga.

The island is 7 miles long and is 18 miles around via the coastline.

I left at the marked spot on the map around 11:15 this morning and headed south toward the ocean. The sea was very calm with waves about 1 foot. I decided to cruise about 600 yards offshore as I rounded the point and headed north.

The weather was perfect for getting the long ocean leg done and it seemed like the smart thing to do.

As I approached the north end I got a series of business calls that kept me idling for 20 minutes while I took advantage of the cell tower.

Then I entered the narrow cut south back to my starting point.

In the ocean I saw a huge adult turtle surface for air. In the marsh cut I saw three pink flamingos. Last year I saw one pink flamingo and everyone thought I was crazy. Now I have seen four.

After about 2 ½ hours I was back at my starting point and I called Gigi to pick me up.

I still have some trim issues at full throttle. Once I plane out I have to throttle back to maintain stability.

I guess I averaged about ½ throttle for most of the trip and burned 3 quarts of gasoline. This motor gets incredible mileage.

The trip was worth the effort.

Tomorrow or maybe the 4th I would like to travel to St Simons Island from Jekyll and dock.

Fece Forensics

I’m back in the RV for the week with four dogs so my thoughts turn once again to turd containment.

As good RVers we pick up after each dog does his or her business. In fact we have a code that signifies results and success of each outing with a dog.

For example I took Haley and Cedie out this morning and reported back to Gigi that Haley did a “P” and Cedie did the coveted “B”.

A “P” is the equivalent of a successful urination only while a “B” means that they both peed and do-doed making the possibility of them crapping in the RV very unlikely for the next 24 hours.

Someone (a redneck no doubt) nearby has been crapping their dog in our crapping grounds and they do not clean up afterwards.

I know my dog’s turd signature and these are turds of a strange dog. I clean it up because I don’t want to be accused of not cleaning up after my dog.

I hope to catch this turd violator.

My Pets Make me Sad Sometimes...

This could very well be Peaches last trip to Jekyll Island. The old dear girl is 12 now and her hearing, sight, and legs aren’t what they used to be.

I walked down to Clam Creek this morning to practice my net casting all by myself. A few years ago Peaches would have been at my heels. Instead she stayed back in the comfort of the RV oblivious to my leaving.

Duke cares nothing for a casual walk. He will lay down in protest after 100 yards. Cedie doesn’t have the endurance with only one back leg.

I’ll have to make Haley my new Clam Creek dog. She is willing so I’ll take her tomorrow.

While I was at Clam Creek I checked on a tiny memorial I put there for Galaxy and it was still there. There is a small dog tag screwed to a cedar tree that says, “Galaxy, My best friend, 1999-2006.” Below this tree we scattered her ashes and in that same spot the Jekyll Island Authority has erected a nice wooden bench. It is the only bench on the beach and it is in front of Galaxy’s tree. I thought that was nice.

Update from Jekyll

It has been a whirlwind vacation so far.

We got here Friday to the lovely Jekyll Island GA and met my nephew Jay Gray and his lovely bride and daughter along with my sister Etta and her husband Al.

Since then it has been boating, meals, thunderstorms of biblical proportions….then repeat boating, meals, thunderstorms of biblical proportions. Mix in some beers to taste.

Yesterday I mixed it up a bit and ate some gasoline pretzels. I’ve got to say they were awful.

Jay Gray and I bought this bag of pretzels the other day and never opened them. Somehow some fuel from my outboard got not only on the bag but in the bag.

I got out of the boat and was starving so I tore into the pretzels. I noticed they had a strong smell and tasted like 89 octane gas. Quite nasty, so I set the bag on the front seat. The whole truck smell of gasoline so I threw the bag away.

Last night raccoons took the bag out of the garbage and scattered them around. Not even a raccoon would eat the darn things.

I feel fine though and my viscosity seems better today.

Post from a day or two ago....

We made it 150 miles late yesterday towing the RV to the racing town of Darlington, SC.

This little campground is just off I-95 and was a convenient place to stop, plug in, and go to bed.

Most of the residents here are either highway stopovers like us, or full timers living life as inexpensively as possible in a variety of travel trailers and 5th wheels. Some of the RVs look like they haven’t been moved in years.

It’s funny in a way; these full timers in their RVs are not much different than the glamorous life of live aboards in their sailboats I see at the harbors of St Croix.

I envy those folks aboard their sailboats when I am standing on shore. I would imagine their living arrangements are much less comfortable than mine in this RV. Their quarters are more cramped, electricity is less abundant to provide comforts of AC and other appliances, but I envy them just the same.

The plan calls for shoving off at 9 AM today and arriving at Jekyll Island around 3 PM this afternoon.

I’ll post this when I get connectivity.

Tiny Distractions

We made it to Southport last night on the first leg on our journey to Jekyll.

We powered up the RV and settled down to a makeshift supper of wine and chicken wings from the wing place across the street.

Today I started around 6 AM packing and moving stuff to get ready to travel. I washed the RV exterior and finished up about 12:30.

One thing was irritating as hell. My hose nozzle kept trickling down my arm, down my back, and down my butt crack. I changed arms and it did the same on the other side. That water was cold and determined.

This afternoon we hope to pull out and get 150 miles or so under our belt before we drive 250 more to Jekyll Island. We have a reservation at some highway RV place near Florence, SC for tonight.

Oh the Agony...

My next “scheduled” trip to St Croix is the first part of February. By then I am sick as hell of winter and the brief week down in the tropics gives me the needed respite both mentally and physically.

This year presents a quandary on scheduling.

Typically we like to book so that we can be there for The Super Bowl which is February 1, 2009 this season. We also like to be there for Jump Up which is the Friday before Valentines Day.

This year the two events are scheduled so far apart that one week will not encompass both events.

I have opted to be there for Jump Up and will watch the Super Bowl from home like 99.9% of the rest of you do.

I pause at making the final reservation until I see that Jump Up is actually on the 13^th of February. Just because the 13^th is the logical and traditional time doesn’t mean that it will actually fall on that particular Friday.

I have contacted Anna Holley at www.gotostcroix.com and she assured me that I was correct in my assumption and assures me that she would check with the powers that be because it would be like them to schedule the event another Friday.

So here I sit with my finger on the flight schedule and finger on the villa schedule with thousands of tourists’ dollars hanging on the decision of the Merchant Association of St Croix.

4th of July Vacation Eve...

It is hot as Ned’s ass outside. It only shows 88 degrees but the humidity is thick and the air is stagnate. It feels a lot hotter.

I got a haircut after lunch and decided to knock off for the day and do some chores.

I ended up talking myself into a nap. I kept having this leaf blower wake me up and I realized about the fifth time that it was me snoring. A 45 minute nap was enough anyway.

A little yard cleanup was in order since we had that vicious storm the other night. I got out the wheelbarrow and began the clean up and sweat dripping.

After a while these little pecker gnats kept buzzing around my eyes and one landed right on my eyeball. Have you ever noticed a gnat on your bare eyeball is cold?

I got a heaping load and the yards look better.

Now I need to start packing the truck for the trip tomorrow afternoon.

Just in case you thought I was a big liar….

A free swimming shark and this isn’t a sweet nurse shark. Can any of you marine types identify this shark species? Maybe a reef shark?

Here is that pesky barracuda that kept stalking me. Do you think he wanted my yellow swim trunks?

My nephew scuba diving off Cane Bay riding a big sea horse.

Doilies Again....

Yesterday Peach Pod came by for supper and a stopover while she was traveling from WV to St Simons.

Peach Pod and her man Peach Pit gave me the loveliest assortment of doilies for my birthday. They are wonderful.

I don’t possess a gay bone in me but could understand the suspicion by the doily obsession. Plus I wear two bracelets on my right wrist. Maybe I should be tested for gayness.

I used a large doily this morning on a small serving tray I teefed from the Divi last week. It looked damn nice serving Gigi her coke in bed.

Summer is in Full Swing

Today is my oldest Border collie’s birthday. Peaches is 12 today and she started my love affair with this quirky herding breed of canine.

My birthday was yesterday.

Peaches and I plan to celebrate together quietly at home. We both requested grilled chicken and then the meal takes a doggie turn with pig ears and Alpo. I’ll have a salad and corn on the cob with my chicken.

Today I begin preparing for our annual mandatory vacation to Jekyll Island, GA.

Before you start judging and complaining, “What? Another vacation?” realize please that this is a normally scheduled vacation that has occurred every 4^th of July holiday since 1993.

The Rest of the Story.....

Damn…I got notice today that my $300,000 term life insurance policy is expiring.

It was 15 years ago when I bought this policy and I was denied life insurance because I had a badly inflamed liver.

It turned out that the medicine I was taking for epilepsy had by liver function and reading way off the chart. No one would insure me because I was going to be a dead man soon.

Well in a few shorts weeks I had the medicine changed and the issue was resolved. I didn’t die.

Realistically contemplating death at 36 changed my life.

At 36 I was a workaholic. I never took time off. I hated weekends and holidays because it kept me from the office.

I had been fired for insubordination just a year earlier so I had something to prove to myself.

But after the death scare I thought about my life thus far, I knew I was not ready or prepared to die. There was so much I wanted to see and do.

That year we took our first vacation as a married couple. I mean the first grown up not tagging along with the parents vacation. I rented a cottage at the beach and Gigi and I spent a week relaxing and playing.

Soon afterwards I bought a travel trailer so we could go about exploring the south. We would go out once a month to some new destination and we loved it. We visited about every coastal and mountain town within a 6 hour drive of Charlotte.

In 1997 we drove up to Maine and leisurely worked our way back down. We actually drove up I-95 on the way up. You could see New York skyline and Boscoe and Peaches saw the twin towers.

My work began involving air travel and I would take Gigi along. Soon we were exploring great cities like San Francisco, LA, San Diego, Santa Barbara, Phoenix, Chicago, New York, Washington, Albuquerque, and Dallas.

Then one day in early 2003 I took a trip with some other couples to St Croix and my love affair with the island began.

So now you know why I’m always mentally on vacation. Life is short. Go out and explore your world, meet friends and love each other.

Now let me see about replacing that policy……

I Hate When This Happens....

I hate this when it happens; just this morning I am damn near skipping into work, happy as a lark when I get just the slightest amount of my own slobber down the wrong pipe.

I started coughing uncontrollably like I was drowning, my eyes staring watering and bugging out over a tiny bit of well placed spit.

Folks started looking at me like I was coking on a ham sandwich while a waved to them that I was okay.

It’s embarrassing! It doesn’t happen often thank goodness.

Redneck Calamari

A Lucid Moment with Gigi…..

Me “Honey, I found my Coleman lantern. Now we can go on the water in the boat and watch fireworks on the 4^th from all directions.”

Gigi “Great, just what I want to do is get in that tiny boat, in the dark, and sit amongst sharks and alligators.”

Blue Bloods

I hate island snobs. I actually don’t hate them but they irritate me.

I go to a blue blood dentist in the blue blood side of town. It represents old Charlotte money, little sense of humor and membership to clubs I couldn’t afford or would never be invited to join. The only thing I have in common with these people maybe is the love of doilies and good wine.

The guy is a good dentist though so I keep going although I about dropped my teeth at the $180 bill today for a cleaning and x-rays.

Anyway a new woman was scrapping the old choppers and she asked if I had done any traveling this summer. I’m sure she was expecting me to go on about how poor the help is in the Hampton’s this time of year or how chilly is still is at Martha’s Vineyard.

“Well, as a matter of fact I just got back from St Croix.”

I felt smug in my expected acceptance of luxury leisure travel.

She looked at me like, poor thing.

She said, “Oh we always go to (some island I had never heard of). I went to St Croix….once….many years ago.”

You could tell she had rejected my island and she thought her island was superior.

Bitch, ho. Don’t like my fishes and friends? Hose bag.

Two Completely Unrelated Tings....

I have run into two cell phone zombies in just two days and they annoy the shit out of me.

I define a cell phone zombie as a person on a cell phone oblivious to others in the area that insists on pacing the floor while talking on the phone without regard to the positions of other bodies in the room.

So I’m in an elevator lobby yesterday and this guy is pacing and I have to dodge him twice. There ain’t going to be a third time because he has threatened my manhood sort of by heading into my space.

Now let me comment on gay marriage in CA. Good for states rights. I don’t give a crap what the law is; a state has the right in this case to make their own damn law without the oversight of the federal government. The same should be true for abortion. Let the state make the call like the constitution stipulates.

I will not argue the moral or ethical value of either law but from a constitutional perspective CA got it right even though a judge actually tilted the scales on this and reversed the law.

Small Details....

I found my old machete in the garage just a moment ago. The next time I have checked luggage to the island I’m taking it along so I will have my own coconut opener there. I have borrowed Michaels several times.

The machete I have is dirty, a bit rusty, the blade is dull, and the handle could use maybe a few wraps of tape to strengthen it. I can clean it, sharpen it, and have a very fit coconut opener of my own.

I forget just how hot it gets here in the summer. I just finished some simple chores in the yard and I am wringing wet.

Wring is another stupid word with a silent “w” like wrench, wrangler and Wreggie.

I wish I knew someone named Ned or Nate and I would encourage them to put a “g” in front of their name like gnat.

I reserved the URL www.wreggie.com and might just make it my blog URL.

I am driving less with the fuel prices being what they are. I need some chain for my anchor. Normally I would hop in the Jeep and drive to Home Depot to get it. But I’ll pass HD on the way to work in the morning so I’ll wait until then and save $5 in fuel.

I never really knew why boaters recommended a chain on an anchor until I could see the effects first hand in the clear waters around Buck Island. So I am getting a chain and learning how to tie a proper knot so I can keep the next anchor.

I have suddenly gone from being very active on vacation to moderately active at best. I miss all the fun exercise.

Last week we were about to board a small boat and I decided to walk/swim down to the end of the pier where it is waist deep to pee. Terry noticed and announced loudly in the direction of the yacht club, “Everybody! Reggie is peeing at the end of the pier!”

There is a dingy at the waterfront in Christiansted that is always there and always makes me laugh. On the back of the boat it says, “Sit Down Shut Up.”

I ordered vinyl letters this morning saying the same thing for the back of my little boat.

Kinda Neat and Strange...What Are The Odds...

I went scuba diving last week. To me, snorkeling is just about as good for reef watching and scuba is a whole lot more trouble and risky.

I wanted to give my 11 year old nephew the experience of scuba diving so we both signed up for the discovery scuba dive. Basically they instruct you, make you prove you can do a few “what if this goes wrong” operations like, what if your mouthpiece falling out 40 feet under water.

The instructor then told us about a few plants to stay away from and we were off on our adventure.

After 30 minutes or so I got distracted watching some cool features/creatures on a reef when something grabbed me violently from behind and started shaking me. I turned around and my instructor was motioning me to move away from my position and he pointed to one of the forbidden stinging creatures that I was now wallowing on.

I did feel a stinging on my right elbow but figured it was a scratch. Oh well.

Some where in that shaking and escape from the stinging creature I managed to loose the disposable underwater camera that I had in my left pocket. So somewhere at Cane Bay, 30 feet under water was a lost camera.

The next day we were hiking to the tidal pools a mile or so down from Cane Bay when Michael reached down in the pool and said, “Look, someone lost their camera.”

It was our camera that I lost the day before under water a mile away and it had somehow ended up where we were going the next day.

Queue the Twilight Zone music…..

To Each His Own When It Comes to Current Events

I keep up with current events probably to a fault. I need news, sports and weather up to the minute. Hell, I’m looking at a radar right now following afternoon thunder storms.

On this last trip to St Croix I was really unplugged for most of the week. Normally I don’t like this, but this time was different.

I forgot about the Presidential race and all the mud slinging and politics. I was immune from all the bad weather in the states, what could I do about the weather anyway? The financial markets…who cares, and it doesn’t matter. Diesel at $4.80…who cares. Did the Carolina Panthers trade anyone? All the local murders, traffic congestion, code orange pollution alerts, and local politics were 1800 miles away.

My nephew had taken over the only TV for video games so we didn’t even watch a minute of TV.

Broad band or dial up was non existent where I was. I checked my email once. The world kept turning without me.

I dropped my cell phone in the water. No worries, I didn’t really need to talk to anyone unless I was standing in front of them.

I couldn’t listen to my regular Charlotte News and Talk radio station.

I was completely and totally disconnected from all of my regular news sources that concerned me.

What is ironic is many island folks brag about their isolation and their insulation to the stress and worries in the states. They pretend to live in a blissful world unaffected by current events and sometimes even hold out our worldly worries as silly.

I have become keenly aware however that news related stress is necessary wherever you live.

Down on the island the passionate talk is of WAPA (Water and Power Authority), the development of land for casinos, the corruption in local government, crime, pollution, etc. All of the local island news is discussed with the same passion and concerns of my local, national news, and financial news.

The news topics in St Croix are different but the stress is the same, maybe more. So does current event stress need to be generated for the human spirit no matter where you live? Even on a tropical island?

I am back home now and the worries of the island are back on the island.

Let me open my paper… CONCORD -- Police were continuing the search Friday night for a man who fatally shot two people at the Sun Drop Bottling Co. in Concord in what may have been a botched robbery. Hey…that is just down the road from me.

Howto Video from Wreggie

Coconut water mixes well with gin. Recipe:

Cut open coconut. Pour in gin. Insert straw and enjoy!

I Am Home…For True

Once again a great vacation goes down in the record books for my favorite Caribbean island of St Croix.

I did more hiking and snorkeling than ever this time. I had my first visits to the isolated beaches and fantastic snorkeling of Isaac’s Bay and Jack’s Bay. It is a hilly hike through the dessert to some of the beast beaches on earth. For as far as you can see there are no people or buildings.

Then I took a forested hike to the tidal pools near Carembola. The terrain could have passed for any hike in the mountains of North Carolina. Once there, we swam in the natural pools, had a picnic, and sipped rum together. Again, thanks to my wonderful friends and hosts/tour friends….I run out of adjectives, Michael and Terry.

Tree times I ate at the Pickled Greek mon. I love what Peter has done and food and atmosphere he has created all with close friends and family nearby helping out. Love you Nikki and Peter.

I enjoyed the company of my 11 year old nephew and his enthusiasm for the island. I taught him to snorkel, respect for the island, talked about the limited recourses of power and water, and taught him to care for the reefs and beaches. Several times he called me down on my own rules. Turn off the AC Uncle Reggie if you aren’t in the room, we need to save electricity.

Overall, it was one of the best trips ever. Give St Croix a visit in June. It is not crowded, the weather is in the 80’s, the water is crystal clear, and the people and food are fantastic.

Now for a few photos…

Richard on the board walk. I see Richard every trip. He is an excellent percussionist and nice guy who lives on the street. I give him a few dollars and talk to him at every opportunity. He said, “All this is yours man, enjoy.”

Gigi and Peach Pod sharing a laugh.

This is our villa from the beach.

This is me early one morning negotiating with fishermen for dibs on some lobster.

At the Montpellier Domino Club and Jungle Bar, Home of the world famous beer drinking pigs. This is a tourist spot that I have avoided, but now had an excuse to visit with my nephew.

This is a wonder woman we shared the flight down with. She is from Haiti.

Getting ready to board for Buck Island.

This is the boat moored just off our shore that several fishermen used daily.

Shopping in the market for sugar cane….like I needed sugar cane for some reason.

Playing ball at Buck Island with Troubles and Sailer. The water is so blue and clear that it looks fake.

Standing around trying to make a decision.

Cutting up with Gigi.

We Made It

Hello from St Croix!

Let me work from now back as the memories surface.

I am sitting by a huge bar separating the kitchen from passive living space that leads out to a big veranda that is but maybe 30 yards from the ocean.

Right now both of my ankles are slightly sprained from many hours of snorkeling. Behind me my cell phone will recover from being dropped in the ocean but it may not be the phone I once knew.

Yesterday at Buck Island, Monkey Boy, Michael and I were snorkeling when we immediately came up on a sizable nurse shark lying on the floor and just a few yards away a much larger shark was spotted of unknown type. We couldn’t see his head so it was difficult to identify.

Then I heard Michael lecturing Monkey Boy about how animals could sense fear and I sensed that something worse was in the water. Sure enough a big shark was circling nearby and a barracuda was watching us. All ended well.

The day before we snorkeled Jacks and Isaac’s Bay accessible only by foot over bramble covered hills. Not a soul or house was in sight except for the four of us.

The first day we snorkeled off the east reef ridge from Buck Island. We saw a ray about the size of a king size mattress. The ray passed below me. I looked up to see Monkey Boy flailing toward the boat and he drove over the side like a trick dolphin. He was sure the ray had it in for him.

I can’t seem to put on and reapply enough sun screen in this place. I swam with a shirt yesterday to protect my skin.

For Tomorrow, I Shall be in Paradise

No I’m not dying. At 6:09 AM I fly out of here to St Croix for a week.

Have you noticed I haven’t been blubbering daily about my excitement and anticipation?

I am damn excited. I think maybe I may, or will try a relaxing vacation.

I may not post my blog…okay, I’m feeling stress about not posting but I may give myself a bit of a sabbatical. That’s fancy talk preachers and professors use to say they may just be out of touch for a while.

I plan to spend some time on the beach with my best friend Gigi, do some research into the causes of sea glass, drink some beer with lime, and snorkel until I can’t walk.

By next Thursday I expect to have had many belly laughs, good meals with good friends, too much sun, and most likely bloated ankles.

I love my leisure and I love this island and my friends there and friends yet to be discovered there.

You guys have a wonderful weekend and week on the mainland. I’m going to be a middle aged island boy for a while.

This Doesn't Sound Right

A friend mentioned at lunch that the democrats had managed to turn back the hands of time and reintroduce Jim Crow laws in Florida and Michigan where a man or woman is only a half person, and so their vote only counts 50% of my vote.

I guess being a half person is better than being a no person and your vote counts zero.

Why is it always Florida involved in the inability to get voting correct?

Oh, I about forgot. I heard on the local TV WSOC this morning that a lot of folks are running out of gas because they are not filling their tanks anymore. They said, “Experts say to fill your tank when it gets down to ¼ of a tank.”

We have gas tank experts out there? Where are they and how much do they make and who pays them?

Field of Dreams

For most of last night I kept dreaming I was playing softball on the most beautiful field overlooking some cliffs that dropped off to the ocean.

The weather was perfect, the women were beautiful and yes, all the guys looked like models. What I was doing out there is anyone’s guess.

I never play softball, I never did play softball unless forced to play in school. A spherical ball that isn’t very soft hurling at me at incalculable speeds forcing me to react quickly (stressful) to avoid a collision (forget about catching it) is not my idea of fun.

Last night I was playing short stop. I counted five line drives directly at me and all five times I caught the ball bare handed.

Basketball in real life was very similar for me except the ball was bigger and softer. I remember quite a few times someone going to the basket and seeing me open (who would bother to guard me) and at the last minute they would dump off the ball to me only for the ball to hit me in the forehead or chest as it went out of bounds.

Finesse is not an attribute of mine.

Football was my game until I stopped growing vertical somewhere around 12 or 13. A lineman can only go so far in football at 5’ 7’ish, give or take a half.

Anyhow I woke up all refreshed at my accomplishments from last night. Does that count as my workout today?

Peanut Rehab

I have been in roasted salted peanuts in the shell rehab for about 8 weeks now. I feel like I have made a lot of headway.

I love Hampton’s salted in the shell roasted peanuts the best. They are the single malt of peanuts, a force to be reckoned with.

Yesterday I almost fell off the wagon. I was at Lowe's Foods and they always have a Hampton’s display as big a VW Beetle. I had made up my mind that I would buy a small bag to reward myself.

I went to the display and it was empty except some unsalted peanuts. Whew, dodged a bullet.

This morning Gigi said, “You know what? I’ll bet Michael would like those peanuts you like, we ought to take a bag.”

Get thee behind me Satin! Gigi hasn’t noticed I’m not up to my ankles in peanut shell the last few months.

I’m getting weak! I can feel a relapse!

Code Red....Severe Vacation Alert!

Today we went to a Severe Vacation Alert meaning vacation is imminent or the threat of vacation is unavoidable.

The following actions are taken during a Severe Vacation Alert:

Announce Threat Condition SEVERE and explain expected actions.

Deploy suitcases based on threat assessments. Find the passports in case of an emergency land in the BVI.

Find some money to spend preferably big wads of folding money.

Cut the grass at the optimal time to assure the house doesn’t look haunted when I get back.

Tell a few trusted neighbors you are leaving and tell them you have a house sitter.

Activate Operations Center on the PC and pay all bills.

Maintain close contact with my best clients and tell them I am taking a well deserved vacation “out of the country”.

Be prepared to implement mutual aid agreements with other neighbors and if you need help while out of town. The classic thunderstorm and a fallen tree can wreak havoc 2,000 miles away.

Stockpile dog food, hay and horse grain and fill the stalls with shavings.

Check the well filters.

Act like we actually live civilized and vacuum very well and clean the bathrooms.

Get back waxed and trim nose hairs.

Try and figure out what I can do for a four hour layover in Miami that doesn’t involve spending a lot of money or drinking…..

Hurricane Season

Hurricane season is about upon us and now that I have interests on the coast I’ll pay more attention than usual to the paths of storms.

My concern is for my RV just inland from the mouth of the Cape Fear River. I figure any thing less that a cat 1 i.e. tropical depression won’t alert me to move the RV.

A few years back three storms came on shore at or very near the Cape Fear. I remember the Steeple blowing off the Baptist church at least twice in one year.

So, for now it’s finally warm and humid…Wreggie weather. I need to plop on a rock and soak up the sun like an old snake.

Good Try Enterprise Car Rental

Dear Michelle,

I am in receipt of your letter dated May 15, 2008.

I dispute your claim that I am responsible for damage to your car VIN 5NPEU46F37H272813 for your file number DX53H4298.

Your premise of my responsibility and charge of my liability is incorrect, unfounded, and without any supporting documents or evidence of your claims.

Normally by now I would have written a complaint letter to your firm describing the utter filth of this vehicle as it was presented to me along with a 1/4 tank of gas, but it was the only car on the lot so I felt I had to take it. Never have I rented a car as unprepared as this one. The car was badly soiled in the interior, the car smelled badly like stale cigarettes, there were countless burn holes in the front seat, and literally there was tobacco spit in the center console. But this letter is about a matter of responsibility and liability so we’ll deal with the complaint another time.

Please allow me to tell you what happened as I witnessed at your Southport, NC location of Enterprise.

I rented a car from your company in Southport, NC so that my wife would have a vehicle to drive if she needed to go somewhere while I was out of town. It turns out most of her 18 miles driven over three days were to and from you rental car location. The rest of the time the car sat in the driveway.

I was there in person at the Enterprise location in Southport when your Enterprise employee April C. Evans did a vehicle inspection both before and after the rental of your car to me. Not once did April C. Evans see and record the crack on the odometer cover in question, either before I took delivery of the car, or after I dropped off the car.

Keep in mind that both times April C. Evans inspected the car for damage and mileage used; she had to look directly through the cracked lens in question to read and record the mileage. She recorded the mileage accurately twice while looking through the cracked lens, however at no time did April C. Evans notice and record the crack on the odometer lens.

Are we clear on this fact?

The enclosed photo shows the affected area and the small crack on the odometer cover is easy to miss when your line of focus is on the mileage and not the crack. I can see how April C. Evans missed the crack twice. It is difficult to see.

Only after April C. Evans completed her final inspection and we were free of liability and responsibility and April C. Evans was headed back to her Enterprise office did my wife bring the crack in the odometer cover to her attention.

After April C. Evans became aware of the crack, April C. Evans’s logic was that we had to have caused the crack since she would have seen it on an inspection. The fact is, she never saw the crack after two inspections. The checkout receipt proves it.

Please compare the time stamp of the receipt with the time stamp of the accident report. The claim of accident was filed after I returned the car to Enterprise in good order, and after the final inspection and my receipt was in hand.

I observed that April C. Evans was clearly concerned about her personal liability from Enterprise and she stated so to us. She wrote the accident report as she said she was required to do so and told me someone from corporate would call me in a few days to go over this incident report. No one ever contacted me to discuss the issue.

So the fact is that the crack is and was there, and we didn’t cause the crack nor did any of your employees notice the crack during our rental period. When the crack was pointed out after we had concluded our business with Enterprise and Enterprise had delivery of the car in good order according to the final inspection.

You are contractually bound at this point and I am not, and the car is no longer mine nor am I responsible for any defect or damage that was not apparent during two inspections by your employee who was trained to make such inspections, after the car is returned and inspected in good order.

My wife’s intent was merely to point out a defect that April C. Evans had missed out of a courtesy to her, and to your company so she could take note before the next renter took the car.

At this point my wife and I were free to go, April C. Evans had her keys to the rental car, the final inspection was complete, and I had my receipt.

However, April C. Evans went into a near panic over hearing the discovery of this cracked lens and April C. Evans insisted she write an accident report to cover her liability to Enterprise.

I did not realize that April C. Evans would attempt to shift her inspection oversight into my liability by writing up this report or I would have left with my receipt. April C. Evans was clearly distressed so I stayed as she requested.

The crack on the lens that you file as an accident is considered normal wear and tear and clearly falls in the bounds of normal wear and tear. There is not an insurance company in America that will cover normal wear and tear so surely I’m not going to cover that risk nor will my insurance company Allstate cover the risk of something I didn’t cause.

The loss of use you charged me was at the option of Enterprise and was your risk. I assume no risk in your refusal to rent your unit. You are in the business of renting cars so I would suggest you rent the unit. The unit was completely rentable at the time of my drop off.

I at no time have had anyone at Enterprise under my employment and will not and cannot pay any administrative fees unless they are under my employment and have been properly cleared as an employee and have the authority of my corporation to pay such employee. To do so would violate federal securities laws.

And finally the diminishment of value needs to be reported to your internal auditing for federal income tax purposes. This is not a matter that I should be concerned with.

If you intend to pursue this further I will need to be notified in writing via certified mail within 30 days of receipt of this notice, otherwise I will consider this issue closed.

I have extensive travel plans this summer and cannot be assured I will be able receive any response letter from you so or to respond in a timely manner therefore I will need to personally sign for any letter you may send in the future.

I am not responsible for your loss. I owe no debt to you.

Any documents I obtain from Enterprise or any third party will be used to take legal action against you if such action becomes necessary.

Sincerely,

Wreggie

I Married the Dremel Expert

This time when I go to St Croix I will be leaving on a Thursday. Usually I go on a Saturday.

What is so nice about traveling on Thursday is when I wake up Friday morning it will be Goat Water Friday at Smokies! Yes my favorite freshly cooked goat stew along with smoked herring and rice will only be hours away. Throw a johnnie cake in and you have a hearty meal, my favorite Cruzan meal.

One big problem however is our flight out of Charlotte leaves at the ungodly time of 6 AM. I haven’t even figured out what time to get up, pee and crap the dogs, and let out the horses, take a shower and drive 20 plus miles to the airport. I get nauseous just thinking about moving around that early.

Tomorrow I get the fur on my back taken care of so I can glide through the water as I traverse the reefs around the island.

Michael mentioned that he was looking for a Dremel and that the ones he saw in local hardware stores seemed a bit pricey.

I told him that I was married to a Dremel expert and I would get Gigi on the case for a good low cost and dependable Dremel and bring it down to the island when I come down next week.

Yes, Gigi owns at least three Dremels that she will admit to, and I think she may have more. She loves Dremels but never uses one. Each one is neatly packed up in the original box. She lovingly took an older unused Dremel last night and showed it to me, then neatly packed it back up.

Last year I used one of her Dremels when I had to cut the conch shell to make a horn. She got satisfaction at the use of the tool and noted that she knew one day I would need a Dremel.