I Must Play

I am going to play golf next week…somehow, someway. The last time I banged around a golf egg was one last warm day in early January. What this means is you take an already bad golf swing, add six weeks of golf inactivity, and you have the perfect storm for a horrible golf game come next week.

Still, I love the game. Yesterday I went into the monstrously large Dick’s sporting goods at Southpark to see what was new. To my surprise they were having a sale on most things golf. I bought two new pairs of Foot Joy shoes. I sprung for a pack of those plastic tees that never break. These should last me the rest of my life.

Then I decided I needed a new hat. This is where they stick you. Hats are never on sale. I must have a golf hat when I play golf. My regular cool Carolina hat is reserved for events other than golf.

I was standing around looking confused when a lovely young woman asked if she could assist me. I told her my problem. I like the dark blue Titleist hat, but I have this gigantic salty head. A dark hat will show all these salt rings and a light hat will show dirt. If I wash the hat it turns purple where the salt was.

She shook her head positively and motioned enthusiastically for me to follow her, like she had been trained to handle big headed salty people that looked like they could afford a higher end golf hat.

There perched on the small shelf, like some high end reserve wine, sat a new line of hats that came in a size that fit me, and had some new wicking technology that was supposed to deal better with big salty heads.

The only catch was this hat was $25. Wow! But you know, this is one fine piece of golf equipment. Tiger wears one so you know it will improve my game.

Now I will look the part next week even if I can’t play the part.


Peach Pod said...

You know she's a good salesperson when she doesn't visually cringe at the words "gigantic salty head!"