I love to eat good food and I like to cook for people who like to eat and experiment, especially at an event. I guess it’s a wild fantasy of mine to have married into a fat Italian family where a meal means a celebration.
My wife’s side of the family is for the most part straight up missionary style eaters. Meat and potatoes only as long as it is normal meat and white potatoes. Don’t try any lamb or sweet potatoes, just the beef and the fluffy white style of potatoes.
No bread or gravy because it makes you fat. If you leave off the bread and gravy they’ll ask for it. It’s loose-loose in some departments.
The food they eat doesn’t have to be good. I know, I’ve served them crap from the box and can and they are just as happy as if you slaved over the meal all morning. So I don’t bother anymore prepping great meals.
One member of Gigi’s family’s only requirement is the food must be hot. This is difficult sometimes because timing food to be hot means you must be there when the food is hot, but I’ll get into that in a moment.
Going to a Mexican restaurant is a wild culinary night for them. They are more consumed with talking about their weight and how they keep it under control rather than enjoying a good meal and a social event.
It is not uncommon for them to ask you how much you weigh and how much do you want to weigh? To me, how much pull gravity has on my body is not a table conversation. But they'll insist on this conversation at every gathering.
When ever we cook here at my home we expect her family to be unpredictably late. They will be late, we just don’t know how late. For this reason they will never eat food at its peak.
If by chance all of her family is here at once, a call to a meal comes as an unexpected event and they scatter to “wash up” like they haven’t peed in days while doing their normal turd juggling job. Some may be gone 10 minutes washing like raccoons. Jeeze, how dirty can your hands be? We use forks here.
There is always one straggler; (I won’t mention who) who finally makes the grand entrance for all to see. By then the food is cold and the aforementioned is upset because his (or her) crappy box food is cold.
In contrast, call my family to a meal and you get an almost cartoonish crowd instantly that is all smiles dirty and full of pee or not. In fact Judy and I are without a doubt the fastest responders.
Judy and I will smile and make yummy faces at each other because we really like what we are doing.
Oh the joys of the holiday season.
Chris loves football both his CFL team Winnipeg Bombers and his favorite NFL team the Denver Broncos. Ali doesn’t get as most wives don’t get it.
The horse intervention is over. Yesterday Gigi and I picked up Sassy and Cotton for their trip back home.
