Boy Am I Stupid

I like creamer in my coffee. My favorite is evaporated milk followed by half and half, then low fat evaporated milk, then just regular full fat milk. You can see I have given this some thought and have a clear hierarchy of preferred creamers.

Way, way down the list is the powdered stuff. If I must use the powdered stuff then I prefer a name brand like Coffee Mate. Very last on the food chain, right up there with pond scum would be a store brand creamer like Food Lion brand lite. This is the worst of the worst. Already it is a cheap and bad knock off of a less than desirable product anyway and they have further stripped it of any dignity by making it “lite”, what ever that is.

Skim milk is not suitable for anything so its only mention will be here. Have you noticed how skim milk has a blue tint? What is that?

Normally we go to Sam’s Club warehouse store and buy copious quantities of Carnation evaporated milk. Somehow over the holidays this got all used up. Not to worry…we have good old regular milk which is a suitable backup. But this gets more complicated.

Just before Christmas Gigi bought some very decadent eggnog and I bothered to read the calories on the label. So I decided to cut the eggnog with regular milk just to get it to a lowered level of guilt in my mind. I poured the eggnog in with about a half container of milk. So now I have a container of what looks like milk but is diluted eggnog. Then I run out and buy a new ½ gallon of milk. By the way the diluted eggnog was wonderful especially with the spiced rum I made back at Thanksgiving.

Fast forward the story to Wednesday. Gigi is sick and makes one executive decision to throw out the eggnog which I approve. The sentence is carried out and I hear the glug-glug of liquid going out of the plastic jug. Goodbye eggnog.

So I wake up yesterday and pour milk in my coffee but it tastes funny. I sniffed the milk jug and it was eggnog. Gigi had poured out the milk. No wonder, she couldn’t smell.

So today I get up and realized that I am without any creamer. What makes me mad is I was perfectly capable of getting good old evaporated milk most anytime yesterday but I didn’t.

Suddenly I remember that my father-in-law used powdered creamer so I run over to the guest house and rummage around. Sure enough his cheap ass had a big old jar of Food Lion “lite” creamer. Better than nothing, but barely, one step up from skim milk and the imagination.


mr zig said...

see, your story just shows once again that coffee should be consumed black. yes... black, the way God made it! If you drink it black, you never have to worry about the kind of creams/milks/powders you need in order to enjoy the beverage. mmmm coffffffeeeeee

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

Good point. Okay...what is with you and Ali changing your pictures? It ain't the natural order of things.

Ali said...

LOL, I'm with you Reggie - there are just certain things that are not acceptable in coffee.
I am a 1/2 and 1/2 girl myself and I'd rather not drink coffee than subject myself to the hideousness of powdered "cream-like" crap.
As for changing my picture - I changed mine before Zig did his (he's such a copier - he, he) - and I just decided that since I haven't been blonde for about 6 months that I may as well do a new pic. I don't really like the new pic too much though, so I may change it again.
Don't change yours - it's awesome!

Amos said...

So since your skim milk there in NC is blue, you must not have a store called Braums. Braum's is an OK based store with their own dairy farm here, but they have stores all over the south. They have made skim milk taste like milk did when it was a kid, creamy, but without all the fat. I would bring you some but I think it would not be smelling so well when I got it there.

Anonymous said...

Hey Reg,
We use eggnog in our coffee when there's nothing else. It's great! Didn't you try it? And then there's always Cruzan Rum Cream or Bailey's. Maybe it's just an island thing, but we're so used to going without that we always try new and exciting things. Can't wait to see you guys again!