Oh She Is Slow

I got in Shirley’s line this morning. Oh God is she slooooow. Shirley is slow as steam off a dog turd.

It was an error on my part. All the checkout lines were full, all but one. I rushed over and before I could back out Shirley had made eye contact with me.

Shirley is an old lady that works at the local Food Lion super market. Everyone avoids her line. It’s not that we are all impatient, God know I am, but Shirley is not only slow but a poster child for inefficiency. She apparently lives completely in the present and cannot think a nana seconded ahead to streamline the checkout process. Picking up a bag of oranges is a discovery to her.

And oh Lord she is a talker. So here I am, in her line by mistake and trying to be nice to a woman I resent.

Shirley…for the good of the community, please turn in your smock.