I Slept in Ted Kennedy’s Bed

Let me explain myself before you go running from your computer trying to avoid blowing projectile vomiting all over the place.

First, yes, I am talking about democratic senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts, brother of the President of the United States, and brother of Robert Kennedy. The same man that has a fat head and drinks a lot of scotch and killed a woman but was never charged with the crime. That is the same Ted Kennedy that I refer to.

I first suspected my ill fortune in the winter of 2004. We had secured lodging at a nice 4 bedroom villa in the Shoys section of St Croix. Once we unpacked, we began to explore our new surroundings and wonder around the home.

My friend Don who is a staunch conservative was perusing the guest register when he screamed, “Look at this! Ted Kennedy was here last week.”

Sure enough, there it was, a scratchy note thanking the owners of the villa for a great time. It was signed Ted Kennedy.

Could it be the same Ted Kennedy? How could we find out for sure?

Don speculated that if Ted Kennedy was here for a week, then surely there would be leftover bottles of scotch somewhere. His hunch was right, mere moments later our second clue surfaced. From a cabinet in the kitchen, Don proudly withdrew a partially consumed half gallon of Dewar’s scotch.

The large vessel of scotch was truly the smoking gun.

Now speculation began about where he actually may have slept. Everyone shivered and looked around as if their skin was crawling.

How could we find out for sure if “the” Ted Kennedy was there the week before? If so, where did he sleep?

Our final answer would lie with the housekeeper. The housekeeper was our friend, Margaret.

Margaret came Tuesday morning to clean and wash. We hugged and exchanged pleasantries. We had known Margaret for a year and trusted her.

I finally got to the point and asked Margaret if in fact Senator Ted Kennedy was here last week. She smiled and said, “Yes.”

“Where did he sleep Margaret?” I asked.

“In your room Reggie” she said. Then she added, “His wife slept in that other room.”

Well, it was settled. Senator Kennedy was here as we suspected. As feared, he had slept in my bed.

So my friends, I am not proud of this….but I slept in Ted Kennedy’s bed.


Logzie said...

Brother to the President of the U.S.? Please explain... I had no idea!

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

He is the younger brother of John Fitzgerald Kennedy "JFK", 35th President.

Logzie said...

OH!! I thought you meant that Ted was a brother of "the dubya" and I was terribly confused having always known you to be intelligent and have your facts in order and all that. But, I see where I misunderstood now! Sorry.

And oh boy did Ted get jipped in the looks department eh? His older brother was much better looking!! Maybe it's all that Scotch!

And BTW, I forgot to offer my sincere sympathy on the fact that you had this misfortune.