I have a gym in my building where I work. It’s located on the lower level of the building and it’s free to all tenants.

I truly hate to work out, but I faithfully go down every day at 2:00 PM and vigorously ride a stationary bike for at least 30 minutes. I chose a stationary bike because it’s the only cardio exercise you can do and still sit on your butt.

The only exception to my workout is if I’m playing golf that day and I will forgo the workout. I generally chase enough poorly hit balls to qualify as a workout.

Heart disease runs in my family so I figure I’ll at least give myself a fighting chance and not smoke and do a cardio workout on a regular basis.

Any of you that view my cam may have noticed around 3:00 PM I emerge in workout clothes and sit at my desk. I try to have most of my in office meetings in the morning when I am alert and fresh.

When I go down at 2 o’clock I usually energetically run down the flight of stars to the gym. When I return I generally am less enthusiastic and take the one floor ride on the elevator.

There are a lot of fat-ass smokers (FAS) in our building and the designated smoking area happens to be just outside on the basement level.

Typically I share the elevators ride up one floor with a FAS. Inevitably when they realize I’m only on for one floor they will comment that I should have taken the stairs.

I would normally have a snappy comeback but I am too tired by the time I get the insult.

Today it happened again. A FAS female all stinky with smoke, with ugly feet and bad hair color just huffed when I pressed the 1 button.

What I need is a well prepared George Costanza comeback to the FAS comments.

Any suggestions?

*If you are a fat-ass smoking American then by all means accept my apology.


Penrick said...

"I'm too lazy to take the stairs and you're too stupid not to smoke"

Peach Pod said...

How about, "Next time we both end up on the elevator, why don't you remind about the walking up the stairs thing and we can walk up them TOGETHER." I bet they'll leave you alone then!