I Completely Lost It

As you may know I am a new golfer in my second year of play.

I like my golf clubs. It’s taken me two years of golf to settle into a collection that I like and feel comfortable playing with.

The latest acquisitions were a Taylor Made driver and 3 wood I call Bucky and Virgil that I bought earlier in the season.

I name stuff I like and become very attached to it.

Anyway, enter dreamland last night. I’m checking into some mountain resort on business and I ask for my clubs to be sent to the club house and my bags to the hotel.

I am aware of a 3:00 PM tee time.

The course we are playing is a classic Donald Ross and it known to be difficult to get to.

Three o’clock rolls around and my luggage has not been delivered to the room. I’m wearing a dirty white tee shirt, cut off jeans, and flip flops. Yeah right, but this is my dream.

Obviously I have to find suitable clothes to play. For those that don’t know most golf courses require “suitable attire”. This means a collared shirt, dress shorts just above the knee, and proper golf shoes.

Somehow I acquire suitable attire and attempt to get a ride to the golf course.

I am told that the only way to get there is to walk and the journey is difficult. Many do not make their tee time. Heck I’m already late for my tee time.

So I start walking in the direction that the bell captain pointed to. After I walk a few blocks I enter the back of a large Pepsi Bottling Plant. I start crawling up the moving equipment in an attempt to get to a higher elevation and pass through to the front of the plant.

Eventually I am pushed back by an avalanche of crushed ice and must abandon my attempts.

Walking around the plant I notice a very tall, shaggy evergreen tree with low hanging boughs. Maybe a dozen people are climbing the tree and all are trying to get to the golf course.

At this time I recall thinking, “What the hell was I crawling through the Pepsi plant in crushed ice? Climbing this tree to play golf makes good sense”.

At last I am the only one who has made it to the top. I literally push my head through the turf and revealed to me is the most beautiful golf course that I have ever seen.

I dusted off, headed to the pro shop and explained why I was late. No problem and I have the course to myself. No wonder for that fact.

After the round, I ask for my clubs to be sent back to the hotel. No way am I going through this ordeal again to play their course.

When I get back to my room I find my clubs there and both Bucky and Virgil have been snapped in two.

I completely lost it. End of dream.

I woke up and saw Haley’s back foot sticking up in the air silhouetted against the moon lit window. It looked like a little cobra.

Time for some coffee and blogging.


Peach Pod said...

Did you wake up mad? Mark does that. I'm different in that once the dream is over, the emotions are over. Once Mark was mad at me for 2 weeks because he DREAMED that I was having an affair! He's his mother's child!