I Was Chosen

Neighborhood tensions have reached a crescendo and apparently we have drawn the full wrath of our redneck neighbor’s teenaged children.

We woke this morning to find that we were on the receiving end of an old fashioned yard rolling.

Yes we are victims of an apparent hate crime.

As a former teenager myself I must point out a major strategic error in their rolling execution.

First, always check the weather forecast before you roll. Ideally you want the victim to see the results of your wrath.

Fortunately for me we were blessed with an inch of rain in the middle of the night. No matter how good the rolling looked, it was all mush on the ground by morning. I thought the dog had chewed up the newspaper when I discovered.

Afternoon thunderstorms are expected today so the toilet paper may completely self clean by evening. After all it is toilet paper and it is designed to break down with the introduction of water.

In a way I see this as an honor. I have rolled yards in the past but I have never been on the receiving end of a rolling.


Penrick said...

Do tell, what would you have done if it didn't rain

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

Well, the way I've always heard to clean up a rolling was to break out the hose and wet it all down. But you have to suffer the same of the clean up. This way I could ignore the fact that I was rolled and I let mother nature take it's course.

Peach Pod said...

You can be like my dad and line the frontyard with yucca plants. They're hard to avoid at night!