The Phone

I am on the phone a lot in my business.

It used to be easy dialing a number and just sit and wait for someone to answer. You could talk to someone in the room, read, write, watch TV, type, breathe through your mouth, or whatever. All you were hearing was a ring and either a voicemail or whomever you called.

It was very common for someone, spouse or secretary, to talk to you while you were on this wait time. You could hear what they were saying and you could respond.

Now however, you must stay tuned to the phone and do work for the company you are calling. Only when you prove you deserve to talk to a person can you then talk to a real person. Often you end up talking to a disappointing and under educated person.

On the phone in NC, they ask if you want English or Spanish.

Then they trouble shoot your problem and you push the corresponding number.

Finally I’m off the hook? No, more questions so they can fine tune your problem.

Finally I get a person to talk to?

Not a chance. So a polite computer that now understands my Southern accent starts asking questions and it decides who I should talk to.

Meanwhile people in the room are stuck in 1980’s mode and attempt to talk to you while you are trying to answer a computer in the language it demands.

I can’t listen to the phone computer and a person at the same time.

Finally you hold and the computer tells you how much longer you have to wait, or how many other people are on hold as miserable as you.

Some tell you where you are in line so that you can muster some hope of talking to a person.

Companies like Direct TV know that some of their people are dumb. When they can’t answer a question they escalate you to a higher level (smarter person) and you get to talk to them.

Once, I went through three levels of dumb before I got a smart person. He was very smart. I was made because it took me 20 minutes to prove that I needed a smart person.

I get particularly upset when my Internet connection is down and the phone computer tells you that most problems can be solved by going to their site online. I feel my face getting red now. How stupid is that?


Peach Pod said...

What is that between your fingers of your phone hand? Is it a pen, a cigarette, a joint? Did you put your head on another body, again? You look real, but I’m easy to fool!

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

That is the real me. I have a pen between my fingers. I clean up real good, huh?