11 Ponder Points

I hate it when I go water skiing, because eventually I will fall. When I fall, cold water goes up my butt no matter how hard I try to pucker. It makes me feel so violated. One time my floatation belt came off and my skis stayed on. I sank like a rock with cold water up my butt.

I love the Saturday night program, Cops. I especially like it when there is a very belligerent drunk and the police have to taser him. Usually once is not enough, and they will taser him again. By then he is very polite. Somehow, I like the overwhelming force of a taser.

I once went on a paintball war game. It was exhilarating to be shot at and have people shoot at you. I took a shot to the ribs at close range and it was so powerful that it knocked me backwards. The paint was red. For a moment I thought I was really shot.

If I was the President of the United States, my first executive order would be to outlaw clogging. It is the most redneck of all the dances. I saw enough of that crap when I went to college in the mountains of North Carolina. I hate Blue Grass music too.

I just heard Layla by Eric Clapton on the radio. I can get lost in that song. It reminds me when I was a freshman in college in 1974. We would get to our favorite bar, Antlers, in Blowing Rock, North Carolina, and get the best table between the Ladies room and the 10X10 foot dance floor. The place only had a juke box and tons of other freshmen co-eds drinking beer and laughing. That song Layla would repeat about every 15th song. This was all before the dreaded Disco era.

In St. Croix it is legal to have an open container of beer and drive. It is not legal to drive drunk. You must wear a seat belt and you cannot talk on a cell phone. When I get to St Croix I get a beer ASAP and drive to our villa, mainly because I can.

I always love to look at that cheesy, seasonal stuff at the drug store. I went in CVS today and headed back to the seasonal isle and looked at cheap coolers, cheap fans, bug repellent, sun screen, plastic buckets and pails, and flip flops. I usually will sniff the sun screen. I didn’t today. I feel like a kid looking at that stuff. I’m sad when they change over to autumn stuff.

I still get a distraught panic feeling when I see back to school sales. It used to mean that was the end of summer and fun. I hated going back to school.

I once asked an Armenian friend of mine if he thought in Armenian or English. He thought for a second and said he thought in English. His English is not that good, just good enough to get by. I wonder if he thinks in broken English or good English.

I love bread. Isn’t it funny that stuffing/dressing is considered a vegetable on some menus? Its nothing but bread with tasty ingredients mixed in. I ate turkey with dressing and cornbread at Cracker Barrel on Friday, and didn’t feel guilty because one of those items was considered a vegetable. Vegetables are good for you, right?

I remember Rodney Dangerfield talking about the first time he had sex. He said he was so afraid…and all alone. I thought that was so funny.

2 comments:

Jay Gray said...

Great stuff Reg. I have always wondering what people who speak other languages that live here think in as well. Very interesting. I have a spanish speaking friend who I will ask and see what she says.

I have always wondered how animals think.

TerryC said...

I would definitely fall water skiing, too, but not eventually, immediately.

I don't know what "clogging" is.

I used to LOVE the beginning of the school year! It meant new clothes and getting out of the house!