Installing the Stereo

“Shit fire and apple butter”, I said in complete disgust.

Let’s go back my friends to an earlier time that led to this exclamation…..

Today around lunch I got my UPS package that I had been tracking since last week. It was my new Jeep stereo with speakers. I have been daydreaming about installing this system, even more about listening to it.

I had convinced myself after talking with my nephew and technical support, that I was fully capable of installing this new system in my Jeep.

I looked at my calendar and I was free after 2:30. I called Gigi and told her I was coming home to put in the stereo.

I stopped by Radio Shack and bought some a crimping tool and some connectors, then proceeded home.

One sidebar here…When I go in a store, when driving the Jeep, I always take in what is in my vehicle since it cannot be locked. I toss my laptop case on my shoulder and in this case carried my UPS box in Radio Shack.

Employees always get defensive when they see me, like I am some fast Freddie salesman that is descending down upon them. At grocery stores they think I am coming in to do an audit or inventory…end of sidebar.

I got home and changed clothes and decided to start by removing the speakers. I laid head down, with my body in the seat and my feet on the head rest (if there was a head rest there) so I could see behind the instrument panel.

Let me tell you, there is a lot of blood that comes rushing down to the old head. I though at first if something happened to me, that no way would I have time to unfurl. It would be so embarrassing to die this way. I could see Gigi coming out 4 hours later to see me lying upside down and all bloated in the sun.

But I managed and carefully removed the rotting speaker. No wonder it didn’t work.

Next, I tackled the radio. I opened the instrument panel, carefully pulled on the radio followed by a rat’s nest of wiring.

Nothing looked like the illustrations that I was supposed to be seeing.

I called technical support and explained my problem and he said, “Oh shit, this is going to be difficult. Maybe you should find a qualified local installer.”

“Shit fire and apple butter”, I said in complete disgust.

3 comments:

TerryC said...

Is that a Southern exclamation, or is it one you made up? Sounds highly satisfactory as expletives go. Maybe I'll try using it.

Reggie said...

It is a southern expression I suppose, but you don't hear it much any more. The apple butter is meant to temper whatever dirty word you just said, and usually invokes a laugh. Shit fire is my most common lead in phrase.

Start using it. In six weeks the whole island will be saying, "Shit fire and apple butter mon". I will be so proud.

Michael said...

"Shit fire and mango butter!... mon"

I like it.